When Tarantino Visits The Amish

I have to give my Mom credit. She was raised butter churner (Sealab), but has managed to assimilate into non-amish life very well.

She adores going to the movies. She and my Dad have probably seen up to 90% of all the main stream movies released in the last 20 years.

Back in 1992 when "Reservoir Dogs" came out, I saw and loved that film. As would often happen, Mom would review her just seen movies with me.

The biggest movie argument we ever had was over Reservoir Dogs. Turns out that we had both seen it that past weekend. I had managed to forget for a moment that my Mom was a former Amish Mom, and darkish comedy-indy-type films just weren't something she could enjoy - so to speak. It was absolutely absurd of me to think she'd even half way support the film - but that's not the reason I'm telling you this story.

Tonight, I went over to the parents house to visit Slausen, my cat. There's a long story associated with the reason Slausen lives with the parents and not me. Short version: C has asthma that is triggered by cat. No pills, washes, voodoo, magic or wonder anything will fix that so Mom and Dad took him in. I try to visit him at least once a week.

So, I go over and start to play with Slausen. Mom says "there's this movie that just started, I don't know what it is, but you are welcome to watch it with us."

I decline, and continue to play with kitty. Pretty soon I realize the words "Titty Twister" and "black pussy, white pussy, smelly pussy - if we ain't got it, you don't want to fuck it" are coming out of the t.v.

There's nothing like seeing your Mom frozen in her recliner with the remote, trying to figure out if she's really hearing what she's hearing. Let's not make her out to be a total prude, as a good action flick with tons of Fuck references does not freak her out. However, the use of the word pussy and titty twister were visibly starting to make her squirm.

I think "CRAP! From Dusk Til Dawn = Tarantino and Mom HATES Tarantino...even though she doesn't realize it's Tarantino she hates..." I shout from the other room "Mom, you aren't going to like this movie, you might want to switch it..." She paused, and I said "MOM. RESERVOIR DOGS."

She immediately clicked to another show.