Pooptacular

My day so far:

1. Buy one bag of pretzels from the vending machine at work, and watch them get hung up on the metal curly device - the one that is supposed to distribute, not detain my food. I bought a second package in order to actually get to the first package...and the second package also got hung up. C went and beat up the machine so I could have them both.

2. Completely melt down my office computer. It had to be re-loaded, so to speak. It now works, but it is only a matter of time. I am nothing, if not stealthily efficient at destroying my work computer with mysterious ills. Is stealthily even a word?

3. Take a comment from a former co-worker in a completely un-intended way. Upon seeing this former co-worker in jeans, he said something about us looking casual. C contends that he was talking only about C's outfit, where I was and am still convinced he was talking about both of us and it's not business casual Friday. Therefore, I must look like a complete hillbilly in my outfit today. Of course.

4. Snappily retort to the Office Admin Assistant: "Yeah? Well do you want to plan and pay for my wedding? No? Well that's the reason I'm not going to the office summer paaartyyyyyy, if that's quite ok with the rest of you." I'm sure I mangled the word party because it's rare that I can verbally put two words together, much less an entire sentence. By the time I reached party, I'm sure my brain was saying WAIT WAIT, that's too many words spoken correctly in one breath!

5. I also managed to find my own hidden box of baggage and hurl it directly at C in the form of a snap judgment and a totally uncalled for e-mail.

Anybody want to hang out while I give paper cuts with lemon juice chasers?