Tuesday, July 15, 2008

No Really. It Wasn't From the Circus.

So what's the last thing you expect to see on the sidewalk as you drive home from YOUR work day? No really. Think of all the things you would never expect to see.

Is one of them a unicycle being ridden down the road? Because it should be.

When Mr. Zoom and I drive home, this is what we normally see, and what we expect to see. Sure, throw a random person walking their dog in there. We can handle that.

I am a clown, I am here for Earth's amusement. I have to be. How else can you explain that several times now, Mr. Zoom and I have been driving down that road and seen an honest to goodness UNICYCLE WITH A RIDER ON IT just toolin down the street like it's perfectly normal?

And the worst part? I can NEVER get a picture. NEVER. Even if I drove home with the camera on and pointed out the window, the speed at which both we are driving and the unicycle is going the other way makes it impossible for me to capture proof on ... digital camera.

And this keeps me up at night. Because who believes you when you say you've spotted an actual unicycle with rider just going down the street as if that's perfectly ok? And there's no circus around. The fair hasn't even been in town when the thing shows up every summer.

So guess what you all get. You get a really crappy artist's rendering of what Mr. Zoom and I have to see once in a while. Just like court cases where media can't come in. Only I'm spectacularly inept at drawing in general and I have not the slightest clue how to work the photoshop on our computers.

See that? Do you think you could keep your collective sh*t together if YOU were driving down the street and saw that?

I didn't think so.

FINALLY, after like 2 years of fretting over the fact that that I'm never going to get photographic proof of the existence of this thing, I can let.it.go.


The Idiot said...

You know those bogus aerial photos that were going around the internet of the undiscovered/uncontacted Amazon jungle tribe? You know how savagely shocked the poor tribesmen appeared to be when faced with a helicopter taking their photo? This ought to give you some idea of the level of bedlam that must have been firing between the wife's ears when this one wheeled bad boy came scooting down the walk. She literally went catatonic on me.

I started bringing her helmet with us to work from that day on. Just in case.

kimber the wolfgrrrl said...

Actually, I live in a tiny, bike-friendly town with a large population of artists, musicians, and cycling enthusiasts, and there is a unicycle gang that rides the streets. I am surprised on days that I DON'T see a unicycle.

ZooooM said...

Those pictures were fake???

doh. had no idea. NONE.

And is my helmet invisible? Because I keep winding up with my forehead banging on the window.

Kimber, Really? Unicycle gangs? My idiot is right, it did scramble my consciousness - I can't imagine what a whole cloud of them would do to me?

As I said to Mr. Zoom last night, you don't just go to Schwinn and say "I'd like to get fitted for a unicycle please" and they are all "oh, ok - here's the rack of samples we have". Or do you?

Mrs. Pie said...

As usual, I have no words. That is CRAZY!