Monday, February 16, 2009

Time Machine Needed. Unironically.

I can't thank the inventors of DVR enough. When your husband has this ability to recognize faces he's seen for merely a second, even 20 + years ago (famous and civilian), watching anything becomes more of a test of patience than a free flowing experience.

The fact that I can pause everything while he blurts out "Do you know who that is?" has saved us both. It's like knock knock jokes between us. "Do you know who that is?" "No, who is it. What T.V., Movie, commercial, street corner did you see that person on?" And then he answers.

We were watching Scrubs a few weeks ago and the familiar rumblings began. Apparently some kid in a movie called Little Giants is now grown up and acting on Scrubs. Which triggered my husban's OCD. He even rememberd one of the lines. I haven't looked the movie up on IMDB, but we think it was about 20 years ago that it came out.

I paused the show, let him do his thing and then sat there with my mouth haninging open when he knew an actual line from the movie THAT HE SAID HE NEVER EVEN SAW THE WHOLE WAY THROUGH. Because I sometimes feel competitive, I squealed "Nanerpuss!"

"Would you stop it with the Nanerpuss?" "Oh, I see. You can quote a random line from a film from 20 years ago, but I can't sing a song from a Superbowl Commercial. From LAST WEEK?"

He does this with the Cosby show too. I'll skim past Nickelodeon or something and Cosby will be running. He'll start saying the lines before the t.v. does and I start trying to figure out how I can sell him to a reality show.

So here's what I need. I need someone to create a time machine and go back to the 80s. I need them to incorporate a message to Mr. Zoom that I love him, so very much. And that I'm allergic to dairy products. And please, if I provide a list of movies we have seen together, maybe he will stop confusing me with his ex girlfriends and/or telling me about films/events we saw together?

I'd settle for just the I Love Him part. Because he might not be able to tell when I'm rolling my eyes and screaming "You are Monkey Throwing Shit Crazy" at him here in the 2000s.


Shiloh said...

you are not alone. I think we could start a therapy group for spouses of people that memorized and regurgitate media and its personalities. Better yet, let's send them for hypnosis.

BostonPobble said...

I have to admit, while it's not as pervasive as Mr. Zooom, there are shows and movies I can quote ~ without having seen them in years and years. My sister and I actually play "Name that obscure quote" when we get particularly punchy.

As for the time machine ~ somehow I thinks he gets the I Love You, even when you're screaming. At least, as much as any of us can get anything when we are worthy of being called monkey shit throwing crazy. ;)