Bad Hairdar

It's like the universe wants me to learn how to tell a wig, a rug, any fake hair from real hair. Or else.

Yes, I'm crazy. I've embraced it, you might as well too.

For as long as I can remember, I've been unable to be the first or even fifth person to realize that someone's hair is fake in any way. In fact, most of the time I am utterly amazed to learn that "she wears a wig" or "he's totally got a tupe/hair plugs."

I guess it actually says a lot about me and my gullibility. I take almost everyone/everything at face value. Well, aside from those things/people I've learned NOT to, like televangelists. And people in advertizing. But I mean everyday people. People I work with. People I see in the grocery store. Friends of friends, or even MY FRIENDS.

For instance, there was a co-worker at my office who literally had a different hair style every week. And every week I'd see her go by and think "Wow, she's so experimental with her hair!" There would be color changes and length changes. But here's the thing. It happened in a way that it went from long to short....so my brain just figured she was really just trying to find a style she liked.

NO, NOT QUITE. Turns out she had the biggest collection of wigs ever owned. And I FINALLY figured out it wasn't "her real hair". And I felt like a total idiot. Years later I'd hear people discuss her wigs, as if it was controversial. I never really understood that, but at the same time, I felt like a moron because I couldn't recognize fake hair right away.

That person eventually left our firm. And here's where the universe tried to test me: The woman who took her place? Yeah, she came by my side of the office on Friday and TOOK OFF HER HAIR! She was showing some of the other girls how she could just "throw this thing on her head in the morning" and how she'd never have to "do" her own hair ever again.

I thought yelled at the forces that do this kind of thing to me: "You've got to be kidding me, right? So I can't recognize fake hair. That doesn't mean I need an unwelcome demonstration of it's fakeness while I'm struggling with my excel spreadsheet!"

And here's what I don't get. Aside from the obvious wiggery of drastic color/length changes and the person who just takes it off to show you how it works....how do you people figure out what hair is fake and what hair is real? Do you dare say anything to the person? Or do you just figure it out on your own?

There was one time when I actually might have recognized fake hair before anyone told me about it. I had worked in an office for about 3 years with someone. I finally realized that her hair had been the same length, the same color, and pretty much the exact same style - for that entire 3 year period.

About that time our office changed locations and she didn't work with us anymore. BUT, I still can't think of her without my mind going "OH YEAH, she wears a wig...................I think......." And then I think in circles about why I even care if her hair was fake or not, and why I'm so frustrated that I never found out for sure.