Remind me to have some dinner before I shop the next time I get the brilliant idea to go running off to Ikea to meet Mr. Zoom after work on a Friday.
There's this thing about me. When I'm hungry, I "put on the cranky pants", as Mr. Zoom would say. That's actually a rather kind way of describing what we've come to recognize as "danger hungry".
If I'm forced to interract with anyone while in this particular mood, I'll shoot a hole in their soul with my conniption fit bazooka before anyone has a chance to throw a cracker at me. One might get away with a only flesh wound if the cracker actually makes it into my yapper.
Friday night I was in an ok hungry place when I got to Ikea. We spent a while there getting all of the things we've needed for the house that have been sold out for the last couple of months. I was standing with our cart, when a lady walked up to me and said: "Excuse me, but where can I find those carts?"
I verbally stumbled to tell her that they were located "over there" - pointing off to my left - "near the pet section, on the right...there's a dispenser over there that pops out the carts."
She looks at me and says "Aren't they over there?" as she points to my RIGHT, towards the cash registers. I think this was the exact, unfortunate moment that my blood sugar left my body and ran for the clearance section of Ikea without me.
I wanted to scream at her "IF YOU KNOW WHERE THEY ARE, WHY DID YOU ASK ME WHERE THEY ARE? Are you a mystery shopper? Because if you are, you suck. Because I DON'T WORK HERE. I'm simply a shy girl who finds it difficult to talk to strangers as it is, and I happen to have just lapsed into Danger Hungry. You asked me a question, and I did my best to answer it."
But I didn't. I just kindof squeaked in Mr. Zoom's direction and he took over for me. He politely told her that there might be carts by the registers, but we got ours from over by the pet section. She walked away, towards the pet section.
And then I started with the petulance. I said to Mr. Zoom, loud enough for many people to hear: "HOW can it be that she asked me a question, I answered it, and she ARGUED with me? Who does that? Who?"
Mr. Zoom, being on the receiving end of my hissyfit friendly fire got me out of the Ikea as fast as he could and drove us straight to some food. I'm still convinced my Mom paid him to marry me. I better tell her to start doubling those payments.
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8 comments:
All too familiar with Danger Hungry. I get so damned cranky, there's no excuse for me. Snippy, redefined. And confused! I can't think straight when asked questions. It's never pretty.
Regardless of who's footing the bill, I think Mr. Zoom is the sweetest, and you totally deserve him. It's very cute how you take care of each other.
How's the separation/new job going?
Hi Rev!!
The work separation is going OK. Things at my office have gone quite wonky - one of my key team people quit without much warning and only 3 days notice.
I am so busy, I don't have too much time to miss him. But I still do quite a bit. Especially when thosre rare moments of calm show themselves. That's when I really miss him. Oh, and when I get to the office without a key piece of clothing. That has happened once already.
" . . . without a key piece of clothing."
I can't even begin to fathom what that might be, yet I know already that it's too hilarious for me to even ask.
Danger Hungry...that's good. I rarely get in that state but when I do it's bad news. Many women in my life have had that problem. Low blood sugar=stand clear of the explosives please. Incidently, that "Ask me a question and then argue with me" thing will reliably earn you a whithering stare and a brutal verbal lashing from me no matter what my mood. That's the very height of rudeness. I applaud your restraint in the face of DangerHungry(tm)
Snacks in the Car - pop-tarts work great.
After 15 years of marriage, I've learned the signs - I get the "Feed me NOW!" look. At that point, I've got about five minutes to get her food or I'm a deadman.
Heh- so the secret's out.
Guys are bred in a Matrix-like... matrix (damn I hadn't twigged at that double entendre before) and Moms come in and pick & choose.
The shopkeepers cheat because they stick "Prince Charming" tags on nearly all of us.
Not all though - I was dropped in the "get revenge for teen age" box...
The last thing I'll ever be is one of those frail girls who never eats. I go from okey-dokey to feed-me-NOW in about 5 minutes. The men in my life learn Al's little tricks pretty fast.
Mr. Zoom likes to keep Cheerios in a zip lock baggie for me. Some people think he's got a toddler.
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