I don't make this stuff up. And maybe I'm just hyper shy, so that when complete strangers speak to me, it registers far stronger on my Richter scale than it would say, for normal people.
This morning I got my coffee at my usual place. They were out of cinnamon sugar bagels, so I jumped at the chance to buy a chocolate chip muffin for breakfast instead. My breakfast math. No cinnamon sugar bagels? Screw the other bagels, I must now chose something chocolatey for breakfast! It is out of my hands.
As I walked to my car with coffee, keys, sunglasses, and my muffin, I saw what I almost always see. Another person was walking on the same sidewalk the opposite direction as I was. The thing that drew my attention to him was that I thought he was saying "May I offer you a bagel?" I instinctively turned around, as if to see someone behind me that he was surely talking to. There was no one. And I thought "WEIRD! I almost always get a bagel, and some stranger somehow knows I couldn't get one today. WEIRD, and freaky. And knowing me, he probably didn't say anything about a bagel at all and I'm just doing that creative hearing/seeing thing I seem to do. Probably best to run away."
This man was about my age, dressed casually, but not sloppy. He didn't give off the street crazy vibe. All the same, I chose to believe I heard what he said incorrectly and keep going. When I got to my truck, he said "Coffee and a doughnut. That's a terribly unhealthy breakfast. Bagels are better. Go get a bagel." He never broke his stride as he issued his verbal ticket to me and then walked out of my line of vision.
All I could do was say in a quiet little voice - to myself: "It's a muffin, not a doughnut, and I didn't have a choice."
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8 comments:
Oh, there are always choices... don't think the bagel gods don't know that.
You know Zoomie, before i met you I used to think I had an unusual life. :-)
Don't give it a second thought. You handled that situation EXACTLY right.
Ka, don't you even take my chocolate math away from me. Maybe you should update your blog instead?
Andy, it's scary, isn't it. I've got a magnet in me for weird.
T, my personal cheer leader. Always makes me smile.
Hmmm, that's my bad... Rule six of the Stalking handbook... and I quote... "Never offer the Stalkie a Bagel"..
Sorry I'll maintain the protoculs better next time.
Otter
Managing Otters are cute little creatures that break the bagels on their chest. I'm pretty sure you could still offer yours a bagel and she'd be ok.
Even Mr. Zoom says that most women can't resist an Otter, and a Managing one is even more alluring.
Awwwwwwwwwwww!
Otter's totally going to boycot us for saying he's cute. I just hope he comes back at some point. With a bagel.
Otter MIGHT totally boycott for saying he's cute, you're right! But, it's worth it just to see the Managerial Otter blush.
You should have only taken a bagel from him if he offered chocolate cream cheese to go with it.
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