Saturday, November 18, 2006

It's Only Been Two Weeks?

You are all very kind with your comments in the last post. Thank you.

Ok, so here's where I get to tell on myself. Run down all the ways I was feeling a little like a square peg destined for a round hole. I can say that after completing 2 weeks, I feel a thousand times better than I did on day one.

On day one, I was completely tazered. I had been given reference materials for the 6 hours of training my head decided to block completely due to terror, but they were 3 inches thick. You would think the occupation of law would allow for searching through reference material - but you would be wrong. Secretaries are expected to just KNOW. No attorney wants to see you raise your hand in that "wait a second please?" gesture while they are busy machine gun assigning things for you to do TODAY.

I have to admit that nobody at my new place really expected me to know firm policy inside and out on even my 6th day there - but that is me. Always taking a nugget of doom and making it my own asteroid. I also have this wonderful ability to absorb my prior surroundings and take it with me. Like these examples:

At my old job, we were encouraged to send every copy job to "staff services" (the copy room), no matter how small it was. That's all well and good when your office only takes up two floors. This week when I sent a series of small copy jobs down to staff services, I got a personal visit from one of the people in the department. "Here are your copy jobs. Um, these jobs are REALLY simple. Didn't anyone show you how to use the copier up here?" OOOOOOOH! I'm actually encouraged to make my own copies!! "Yes" I said "but I'm new. Please don't poison me." There you have an example of nervous utterance from me. How this person could poison me? Makes no sense but hey - I suppose they will have to learn about me sooner or later?

At my old job, when printing a document we had to sortof guess when other people were printing and then stick letterhead or labels in the printer at the right time. Hoping we guessed right. At the new job, apparently the printers are programmed to pick your paper for you out of 4 possible bins. So when I sent a letter to the printer and then walked over to get it - I was upset to see that a letter was already laying in the printer. It was mine, but it was on letterhead and I had just wanted a draft. I immediately assumed I had printed on someone else's letterhead. So I said out loud "whoops, I just printed on someone's letterhead....sorry." Yeah, everyone just gave me the "what ARE you talking about" face.

The loos. The loos at my old job had automated EVERYTHING. Flusing, sinks and soap dispensers. The ones at the new place? NO AUTO ANYTHING. Ok, that's fine. After a lot of "ohmygosh...did I flush?" and running back to make sure, I'm getting that habit back again. But the worst part of the new loos? They have hand lotion dispensers. Guess who thought they were the soap dispensers? Guess who thought that until one lady who works on her floor said "ahem, that is the lotion dispenser and it's been empty all day." because I was frantically trying to get something out of it - needing soap to wash my hands.

Mr. Zoom had told me all about the super stocked kitchens on every floor. He mentioned that every pain releiver, every cold remedy, every antacid was available for use while on the job. One day I had a headache and went in the kitchen in search of rumored mediciney goodness. I could NOT find anything like that. So I sent an e-mail to Mr. Zoom asking about where I could find it. He brought up (from 7 floors away) some aspirin for me and then wandered into our floor's kitchen (which just happens to be two cubes away from where I sit.) I then heard "ZOOM, your first aid box is RIGHT HERE!" I got up and said "where?" He pointed to the GIGANTIC first aid box nailed to the wall, at eyeball level, right as you enter the kitchen. "OOOOOOH" I said. "I didn't know we were allowed to open and use that?! I thought that was for ... fires, or earthquakes and stuff."

And my best performance the first week - I interoffice mailed a document to someone just 2 cubes away from me. At least she sits around the corner from me, and it's not like I have to look at her akk day and realize I made myself look like an incredibly lazy princess to her and a few other people. But I do have to pass her on the way in and out every day. And she's ALWAYS at her desk.

So there it is. 2 weeks down and I'm not fired yet. I really do feel pretty comfortable there now all things considered. And next week is short due to Thanksgiving. Which scares me a little bit because I keep having those high school, can't remember my locker combination dreams - only it involves passwords to the computer programs. At least I'm not to the "at work nekkid" ones yet.


BostonPobble said...

Sounds like pretty normal what-the-hell-am-I-doing-new-job stuff to me. And I wouldn't have thought to go in the official looking first aid kit for pain killers either. I mean ~ that's for like people who have just cut their hands off in the shredder or the old guy who stressed himself into a heart attack in the office, right? All I got is a headache. Right there with you.

AndyT13 said...

OH THANK GOD!!!! I thought you were on permanent hiatus! I've been suffering horrible torment wondering what silly goodness you were up to! I'm so relieved! You're doing fine Zoomie. I'm very proud of you. Rock the heck on witcha bad sef! Yes, sef. Tons O love from your #1 NY fan!

Rev. Brandy said...

Sounds like you are doing just great. Awesome. Good for you, Zoomie! Congrats on the new job and not burning down the building yet.

Tai said...

I'm so glad that kind of thing is NORMAL!
My first two weeks I'm constantly doing stuff like that and then going home and expecting to be called the next morning and being told not to bother showing up.
Thank you SO MUCH for sharing that...I felt so alone in the world!

Barry said...

I am glad you are kind-of fitting in. Just keep that fantastic sense of humor...

as far as the loos go, I think I need to post about the ones in our new building.

and it ain't good.

The Management said...

There is no way I would have opened the first aid box either.. That stuff really is for fires and bombs and junk like that. I think you made the right call.

theresa said...

I'm very impressed with you, not just because you're doing so well, but also because you still manage to keep your incredible sense of humor under such stressful circumstances!

Unacknowledged Genius said...

I'm glad you're feeling more comfortable in your new job. There was never a doubt in my mind that you wouldn't do well. Have a happy Thanksgiving.

Ryan said...

Happy Thanksgiving, you mad capable, sense of humor-keeping, blogging through the shit, super woman!


Now, here. Take some yams off my hands. :)

kimber the wolfgrrrl said...

Ah, but the nekkid dreams are the ones that make working with those particular people the next day so wonderfully awkward! Good to hear that things are progressing normally, in a stressful-new-job-sort-of-way!

Happy Thanksgiving to you!