Saturday, December 16, 2006

I've Been Thrown a Lit Stick of Dynamite

So at the new job, I learn the new boss has a sad event happen in his life. His mother in law has passed away after a battle with some kind of illness.

For normal people, this is a deal with able event. For me, it is a time to make sure I keep my trap shut the hell up so I don't offend the man. I smartly sent Mr. Zoom out for a card for me. And all I did to that card was sign my name.

"Ok, what kind of card should I get for you for him?"

"Something that won't offend a highly religious man who happens to be my boss of less than a month, who's mother in law just passed away? Is there a section at Hallmark for that?

It turns out my new boss is not only very religious, but so are several other co-workers. So much so that it's openly spoken about in passing among themselves. Which is fine with me. They don't try to convert me, ask me what I believe, or otherwise know I'm there. I'm all for any beliefs people want to have, as long as they respect my right to do the same.

But there will come a time when all of that changes. As Olympic Champion of snacking on my feet, both at once even, I can only hope I stay below the radar as long as possible.

I've already mispronounced the name of a key co-worker in such a way that people who witnessed it actually rolled on the floor laughing. I'd tell you what it was, but it's unique enough that it would instantly identify me to anyone happening along this here spot on the net - who happened to be connected with my job. I can tell you that I called him/her the name of a car manufacturer. An American one, at that. It made Mr. Zoom make that forceful "HAH" then silent laugh thing he does when he's really stricken with the funny.

About a week after I started the new job, a temp was assigned to the desk two desks away from me. She didn't have a lot to do there. She spent a lot of time on the internet. The way her computer was situated, I got a decent view of her web tour. I was struck with familiarity when I saw her staring at a screen...that I knew I knew....but couldn't place. I later realized it was the create post screen of blogger!

A fellow! I didn't get a good enough view to see what her blog was though. I was so amused with the fact that a fellow blogger was temping at my office that I tried to secrety take her picture while she wasn't looking. I was hoping to get the blogger on screen when I did it, but as we already know, I suck at secret agent stuff.

When she had her back to me, I took my camera and lined up for a shot. This was tricky, since other people could see me and I had to time it perfectly. Turns out I forgot to turn off the flash, so when the camera went off, she immediately turned around. I put on my best "Hm, I'm looking down at my desk...looking for something that isn't there, it's important and I'm not paying attention to you at all...WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME?" act. I even talked to myself out loud "NO, no......that pencil isn't right here where I thought I put it......hmmmm".

I suck at acting too.

I tried again to take her picture since the one I had just snapped might have been fuzy. I turned off the flash, but this time the little *tink* noise the shutter makes caught her attention and she immediately turned around again. Which lead to me fake looking for my pencil again.


I haven't seen her since.


AndyT13 said...

Zoomie, you just wrong. Just. Wrong.
Can you imagine how freaked out you'd be in her position? "Wait, random woman taking pictures of me. Now pretending to hide it. Wait, did she just do it again? Yes. Yes she did. OK, I'm outta here." The poor thing.
Nevertheless, I laughed my ass off at this.

Rev. Brandy said...


Spider Girl said...

That's hilarious! Drat those flashes going off at the wrong time!

There have been times when I SOOO badly wanted to take a photo when I knew I shouldn't. I have to sit on my hands so they won't pick up my camera (which is always with me). Just. So. Tempting.

It would be funny if she came across your blog and recognized herself from the back, wouldn't it?

Tai said...

Spider Girl is right, that WOULD be funny if she recognized herself.
As a blogger going to a new job I'm sure I won't be blogging at all there.
At my OLD job I knew when I could and when I couldn't.
How dare employment interfer with my blogging time?!?

(Probably there won't be anyone there trying to take pictures of me though!)

kimber the wolfgrrrl said...

Oh my god, that made me laugh -- you need to one of those tiny secret agent cameras! Mounted to your eyeglass frames! Hah!

theresa said...

OMG, you made me laugh outloud at work ... really loud too! So much so, I had to make up a reason for my chuckles so my co-workers didn't know that I was cruising blogs instead of diligently making money for the man. It's a good thing I'm a better liar than you are a spy or an actor.

AndyT13 said...

BTW not sure if you noticed I was gone or not but I'm back.

Polyman3 said...

Oh, here come the preachers trying to convert you, I can see it now.

Your up to no good again, and almost got caught. I luv ya zooom,
you always make me laugh!

Unacknowledged Genius said...

Happy Holidays, Zoom

AndyT13 said...

Dammit, woman, when WILL you post again?! We're dying out here!