Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Vacation Without Your Wife. How's That Working For You?

Mr. Zoom has the week off all to himself. I most recently changed jobs, which means I have no vacation time. Mr. Zoom gets a good chunk annually and since he's been at this "new" job a whole year, he found himself with the ability to take a whole week in January.

With all the advice flung at us pre wedding, nobody offered up the "Here's how you deal with you snoozing spouse when you have to wake up in record cold temperatures and drive away to work." advice.

The Sunday before his week started, I found myself amazingly bitter. I literally pouted on the couch over the fact that I would be working, he would not. Which was what I can only call the Crazy Woman No Logic Here Disease. I didn't want to be that girl, but I was. In fact, I was giving award winning performances. I even went to bed early.

I'm not sure you realize how much that says. I hate going to bed. I love sleeping, but I detest getting up and going into the bed place. I especially hate it when someone suggests that maybe I need to go there. I will fight Mr. Zoom so hard on this. I've been known to stand my ground on the couch, cuddled with my blanket and pillow, claiming "I can't go to bed now, I've got too much left to do." - and then 4 seconds later I'm unconscious.

Poor Mr. Zoom. I think I really hurt his feelings when I went to bed early. I want him to take vacation time without me. If he waited for me, he'd max out the vacation accrual and no doubt have finally told someone that they are a krunty old douchebag - and that's why their e-mail doesn't work. Then he'd be fired and he'd really have a lot of free time without me.

He's made me a crazy sissy girl. YES. This is all Mr. Zoom's fault. He loves me no matter how stinking retarded I act. I'd have told me to stop being ridiculous a long time ago. And then poked me in the eyes 3 stooges style if I still acted like a jackass.

No, instead he actually turned off the alarm I set to get myself up in the morning without him so that HE could be the one to get me up and into the shower this week. HE got up when he didn't have to, to do that for me.

And what did I do? How did I thank him? Here's how the conversation went:

"wha? Why didn't my cell phone alarm go off?"

"I turned it off..."

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! Come back in 10 minutes." You need to be able to hear the shrillness with which I said "Why would you do that? in order to appreciate how much of an ass I was really being.

"Because I wanted to wake you up, I thought it would be easier for you."

"Come back at 7. I can't wake up on the first waking."

"I know."

So he came back and I stumbled into the shower. When I got out I realized he'd gone back to sleep. And my bitter crazy lady left the building. See, I know how much he HATES getting up out of bed when he doesn't have to. Especially if he's going to try and sleep through some more. So the fact that he got up just to wake ME up when he didn't have to - AND played snooze alarm with me - I mean, can anyone have a better husband than that?

I doubt it. And even if you think you have one, I'm ignoring you. Crazy Ladydom works on all kinds of levels. Let's hope it doesn't have to testify in divorce court.


Polyman3 said...

That sucks. We go through that every week because Mrs. P gets up later than I do and has days off during the week.
I'm up at 5:00 AM
Some morns me and the X-tra loud kids are up while Mom tries to sleep.
It's hell for her.

Oh well- Good to see ya, love.
Missed ya.

Polyman3 said...

Go to come back and catch-up on your past posts. Now, got to go to bed.
Good night Xoom.

Unacknowledged Genius said...

I don't work outside the home so I feel guilty every morning when my husband leaves for work.

AndyT13 said...

Oh YAY! Not one but TWO Zoomie posts for my reading pleasure!
Seems like you have the crazies going strong this month. Try some reeses peanut butter cups. :-)
Happy New Year Sweets! I quit smoking a week ago and haven't killed anyone yet! Isn't that nice? Hmmm?