Friday, April 20, 2007

Quit It With the Food Poisoning

Look, you don't have food poisoning. What you have, if you MUST tell me about it, is THE FOOD FLU.

I get it. You are uncomfortable, you feel like crap and you don't have control of bodily functions. I've been there too. BUT, if you aren't at work for only one day because of this - or you are feeling somehow obligated to give an excuse - don't use the word poisoning.

Poisoning, to me, implies someone purposely tried to get you. Intentionally and with clever planning. Not the kind of discomfort you got when YOU chose to eat food from some hinky place that serves a combo plate of tummy rumbler and clown agitator. This meal which you adore because sometimes, piss poor quality food just tastes good.

Just like rain is not a storm. Don't be the evening news. Don't go on storm watch just because someone here in California was reported to have used their windshield wipers. For a full sweep and a half.

Granted, you might not always knowingly eat dodgy entrees, but unless you are now in communication with the CDC, realize you are the victim of the FOOD FLU.

Not poisoning.


Spider Girl said...

I dunno....I don't THINK I have any enemies now, but maybe about ten years back (yes, it's still vivid in my mind) I did because I sure was suffering for about five days.

And when I finally felt alive enough to crawl back to work, I still wasn't done and threw up on my boss's shoes. There went my promotion. :)

But if it WASN'T POISON?... well that'll teach me to trust the meatball sanwiches at Subway....

ZooooM said...

Five days of misery is definitely worthy of the term poisoning.

I was irritated because there was someone who kept telling anyone who would listen that he/she had food poisoning....for one day.

And this so isn't the first, second or 10th time. Know what I mean?