Yesterday morning I was having a fabulous clothes fight before work. My last step is always the earrings. When I finally found the ones I wanted, I dropped one of them on the floor.
Me: "FRICK! I just dropped one of my earrings and now I'll NEVER find it. It's in Canada by now."
C: *gigglling* "Canada huh?"
See, we have cement acid washed floors. Various rugs are placed around, except in the particular places that I manage to drop things. These floors are great for cleaning, lousy for dropping things on. Anything that doesn't immediately break into 4,201 pieces literally hops in an invisible bobsled and ends up in....Canada. Or Mexico if you drop it while facing the opposite direction.
Today while I managed to avoid a clothes fight or invisible jewelery olympics - I did something far more frustrating.
C asked me if I saw the story on the news about the guy who is walking across the US in order to lose weight. I said "Does he have a car at least following behind him?" C said "No." I said "OHMYGOD, Someone's going to kill him!"
See, apparently I'm not satisfied taking on just my mother's nurosis. This morning's brain train somehow jumped the tracks and headed for a different Mom station. I recognized it almost immediately as the Mom of my pal S.
S's mom is a hoot. At least to C and I. It's hard to explain, but basically any time S goes on a trip with friends, her mom digs up some urban legend about how a girl went on a trip and was killed by her companions. Or some incredibly twisted result that is practically guaranteed the second S walks out the door.
We understand a Mom wanting to protect her kids. We do. I'm sure we'd do the same. What we find humorous is that S's Mom delivers these warnings in such a way that one can't help but find it melodramatic.
Yeah, it's funny - until it possesses YOUR speaker and starts going to town.
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4 comments:
Okay, help me understand:
Acid washed cement floors? Oh, cement acid washed floors. Still . . . please explain.
And there's a guy walking across the country to lose weight? Doesn't he have a job? A gym membership? A life?
Reading about this friend's mom . . . I guess I am one of those people who is super-vigilant about letting people know where I am and what I am doing. I have done too much travel by myself for work, too many blind dates and way too much weekend watching of Lifetime movies to leave any stone unturned. If I meet a wrongful death, there will be a trail of bread crumbs right to the killer. I guess I probably tell people too often, "Oh, you'd better be careful! They are going to make a Lifetime movie out of that!" to be considered sane.
Actually, I feel a post coming on about this very subject . . . thanks, Z!
No, no you aren't insane. Promise. It's hard to explain her mom. She's just sooo... DRAMATIC about the delivery. And the scenarios she comes up with always have that one step too far to be taken seriously quality.
As far as the floors...well. How to explain. The foundation of the house is cement. the cement has been stained or "acid washed" a red color. The foundation has been scored in these huge say 6 by 9 foot rectangles. I'll try to get a good picture and post on flikr or flicker or whatever the heck that site is so you can see.
It's very slick. Like tile, with no grouting to stop anything.
And the guy walking? I don't know. After I channeled S's mom over it, I ran away. My default reaction to uncomfortable stuff.
I don't know if this will work...this is supposed to be the URL of the photo of our floor:
http://photos22.flickr.com/25610776_94a14e1deb_o.jpg
Oh, WOW! Cool floors! Thanks for the visual. Isn't technology amazing? I can see your floors!
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