Similetarded

Lately I've been trying to commit to memory the difference between a simile and a metaphor. I've got zoom logic getting in the way of my using them correctly. I like the way the word metaphor sounds more than simile, so I'd like to call all of my attempts metaphors; i.e., when I was actually making simile, I called them metaphors.

And all of this pre jibber jabber will hopefully become more clear in a moment.

I recently switched departments within our law firm. The new victims of zoom got their crash course in all things me. Well, not all of them, but at least the introductory ones.

So the inevitable question is asked of me: "Why are you satisfied with being a secretary?"

What happens is that people learn that I have a 2 year degree in paralegal studies, that I have my Certified Legal Assistant certification ("CLA"), and I'm actually about 4 classes away from a 4 year degree in Criminal Justice.

Apparently being a secretary in a law firm is about as respectable as being a porn star. (Simile!) People are really happy and appreciative that you are there and good at what you do, but they can't understand why you don't go for the "better" job, the "more money" they think is guaranteed at any other position. See what I did there? Position? See? See?

Illustrative example: I was in a serious relationship prior to C. I was living with that person. He told his co-workers that I was an attorney at the firm I worked for. Apparently he couldn't bear to admit that his girlfriend was just a secretary. He actually told me about this lie as we were scheduled to be at one of his office functions. He asked me to go along with it. I told him NO, and made him take me home. That was my first inkling that that relationship was not going to work out. I left him shortly after that.

There was a time when I thought I wanted to go to law school. I believed lawyering (and all other jobs, I might add) were exactly what they claimed to be on the surface.

Then I started working in a law firm as a receptionist. I eventually worked my way to paralegal. And I soon learned about billing requirements, office politics, and bad management. The bad management I'm referring to is me. I was all of 22 years old when the firm I was working for put me in charge of a department handling 150+ files a month. The work wasn't an issue. The people skills and experience needed to be a good manager were. I had none of it. NONE. I was absolutely awful at it.

While I liked paralegal research and writing, I hated trying to justify my billing. I hated trying to squeeze another .5 or .2 out of something during my day so I'd have the minimum billable requirement completed. It just wasn't my thing, and to make it even worse, IT WAS MATH. Math and I do not now, nor have we ever gotten along. At all. It's safe to say that Math is the bully and I'm the kid it steals lunch money from every day. Even on weekends.

From all of this I have learned that I not only LOVE being "just a secretary", but I'm good at it. I'm busy and the days fly by. I was busy in those other positions, but I dreaded going to work and I was miserable the entire time I was there.

I am truly a lucky girl. Not only do I enjoy what I do for a living, I've found a guy that supports me no matter what I chose to do. As long as I'm happy. And on those days that things go a little sucky, he brings me carrot cake.