Monday, February 05, 2007

High Def Eye Rolling.

Mr. Zoom is a channel flipper. He will watch a show only as long as there is actual show being broadcast. As soon as a commercial comes on, he flips to another show he is keeping in the wings. Bad times are when commercials appear on both channels.

This is where I am ever so thankful for cheater tivo. If we can fast forward the commercials, I actually get the illusion of staying on the same channel for an entire show.

My all or nothing personality and upbringing squeal in disapproval every time he flips. My body involuntarily huffs. Won't the world tilt a little in the wrong direction if we miss .25 seconds of the show you just flipped from? It actually has more to do with my ability to get sucked into whatever is in front of me with no regard for the previous thing I was sucked into. It's a mental u-turn ever time the fade to commercial arrives and "FLIP", I'm now looking at something else. Because I am woman, this all comes out as as His Fault.

This weekend he was recovering from the flu and I was in the middle of denying I had it. "I'm fine. I feel like crap, but I'M FINE." We decided to take a look at the Superbowl. And this is one show where commercials are allowed. Things were fine until channel 2 reminded Mr. Zoom that it was also broadcast in High Definition.

Flip. Flip. Flip. Flip. Flip.

Yes, the same contents - the same channel - only he wanted to compare the difference between high def and regular.

"You know, I didn't used to be able to tell the difference."

"Me either, but with high def it actually looks like I'm wearing my glasses."

Flip. Flip. Flip. Flip.

"So, you still working out those comparissons? Is this what it's come to? You now flip to the same channel in a never ending test of what the actual differences are? It is, isn't it. This is how I will live out the rest of my t.v. viewing with you."

"You don't know me. I just want to see ... I like to compare." "High def's cameras are further away than the regular channel."

"Yes you do. And I think you might be right on the cameras."

Flip. Flip. Flip. Flip.

"That's what I thought was going to happen."

Flip. Flip. Flip. Flip.

And the reason I can know we will now live non-tivo viewing in dual channel comparisson flipping is because I know us and our ability to be amused with something far beyond the regular intentions of the "thing". I might roll my eyes at his flip, but behind that I'm analyzing the contents of the broadcast too.

Like when I brought home an actual paycheck from my new job. The check wasn't on direct deposit yet, so I was given an actual paper check. On the back was a security stamp that said if you touched it or breathed on it, it would dissapear. AND IT DID. Totally. Not just lightened, but gone.

We spent a good 15 minutes making the stamp dissappear and watching it reappear. Like the proverbial magic.

So a channell that is also broadcast in High Def and can be accessed by remote from the couch will undoubtably get a lot more Zoom Time than the security stamp on a paycheck.


Barry said...

Zoooom... U are so cool

and ... you make me laugh...

AndyT13 said...

I rarely ever watch TV unless it's at a date's house. I never could understand what the problem was there. I can simultaneously watch three shows at once. There's the main show, the alternate show (for during main show's commercials) and the second alternate show for when both channels have commercials. For some reason my ability and desire to do this makes women crazy. CRAZY. They hate it the way I hate commercials. Commercials are substantially louder than the shows and significantly more obnoxious and upsetting and they certainly never show anything i might actually want to buy. The best compromise is usually the mute button during commercials.

BostonPobble said...

that's it. I'm moving in.