February is already Black History Month. I don't know who makes the official designation of what month will be what - but I've decided that February should actually be Me and My Coolie (Vagina, Cookie, Buscuit, Coochie, whatever term you prefer) month.
I'm not saying Black History Month isn't important. I believe it is. But, we need to give it to one of the 11 other months.
February has 28 days! C'mon! What further evidence could you possibly need in order to make this change? For those years with 29 days, we could have like, I don't know, Coolie Olympics instead.
I'd totally take Me and My Coolie Month ("M&MCM") a step further. You know how you are sitting around watching t.v. and some obnoxious commerical comes on about tampons, or maxi pads, PMS and menopause, that kind of thing? Well, I would make it so that those products could ONLY be advertized during the month of February. That's right. ILLEGAL to poke out the eyes and ears of the general public with femine concern commericals the rest of the year.
Oh my gosh, how great would that be?
I used to look forward to the day that my uterus would shrivel up and turn to dust. My biological clock definitely runs backwards. Unfortunately, every time I turn around lately some drug company is telling me that my human form will become nothing more than a vessel for draconian hormones of life change. That I will grow claws and fangs, and say "I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm hot...no...wait....now I'm cold" while I perfunctorily slaughter anyone who innocently got too close to me when my expiration date came around.
I know I'd definitely be a lot happier if I didn't have to think about that all year.