Saturday, March 01, 2008

How I Watched All The T.V. To The End. Ow.

It started last Saturday when I woke up. I felt a little wonky, and I had a cough. I went back to bed and didn't get out until, well, I've been out of it but not for long even a week later.

It is the flu and it has kicked my sorry ass so hard that flu's boot is still nowhere to be found. I always thought the flu was really just a super bad cold. I've had it before, but I have never found myself crying when I woke up covered in sweat the way I was this time. I also had body ache. And I demand a new word for the pain that I had. Ache is far too sissy a word to adequately describe what it felt like. Juggernaut comes to mind....

By Wednesday when I had no relief from the fever and ache, I begged Mr. Zoom to take me to the Dr. He had been asking me daily if I wanted to go, but because I already suspected they couldn't give me anything to help me, I had decided to fight it off myself. When the Dr. told me exactly what I already knew, I burst into tears. The last thing I wanted was for someone with authority to tell me that I had to suck it up, because I was in for at least two more days of misery before it was going to get slightly better. I'm pretty sure the Dr. thought I was a drug seeking fiend at that point and was merely disappointed that I wasn't getting anything out of the visit. It had been so long since I had slept a real sleep that I guess I just lost it.

She did advise a combination of over the counter drugs to help with symptoms. She and Mr. Zoom kept trying to assure me that sleep would help. I kept snapping back that sleep wasn't going to show up anymore. I'd already used a lifetime of sleep. And even if it did show up, I'd wake up and feel exactly the same or worse that I did right then. Start crying.

I'm a gem when I'm sick. But you know what? You haven't experienced marital bliss until you and your spouse, both strong willed people, are sick with the same ass kicking sick at the same time, in the same house, arguing over who should take what over the counter elixir is on the table covered with false promises. At one point he was just begging me to try a cough drop. "I WILL" I said, "but you won't see it." "Why?" "Because. If you see me take it, you will have won." He unwrapped it and gave it to me anyway. And two days later while taking out the garbage I heard him say "hmmm. I see some one's cough drop in the trash. Nice honey."

Mr. Zoom does sick a lot different than I. He curls up into a ball and sleeps the entire time. Days, weeks, it doesn't matter. That's just how he does it. I try so hard to get things for him, but he does all of that on his own when he's awake. He just really wants to be left alone.

I sleep a lot, but when I'm not sleeping I'm watching t.v. And coughing, and sweating, and forcing myself to eat. Which is a strange strange thing, let me tell you. When I feel full from 4 forkfulls of steamed rice - something is really wrong.

By Wednesday night Mr. Zoom had contracted the same flu and we were both zombie-ing around the house. Still are, actually. I'm 5 days ahead of him, so I do feel better. Not great, but better. I hope Mr. Zoom feels better soon. I miss having him tell me what to do.

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