Wednesday, April 23, 2008

...Have I Said Too Much?

like my gym because most of the time I can dodge the promotions with ease. Hands full of towel and gym bag make it nearly impossible for them to hand me anything, and the way they are generally set up, I can gauge when they are working with a victim and scoot past before they notice me. Timing is everything.

Unless they change their attack. One evening I scanned my card and the counter person said "Can I ask you a question?" Thinking perhaps there was an issue with my membership, I said "Will it hurt?"

He said "When was the last time you had your body fat ratio taken?" I looked to the side at that moment and saw a sign-up sheet. DRAT. I had been sneak promotioned!

Because I'm socially incapable, this is how I responded: "OH GOD NO." Just like that. I drew the attention of two more employees. "Look" I said, "I come here, I do the treadmill and I scurry home. That's it. That's all." I pointed at the treadmills on the second floor, as if he couldn't see them for himself.

The undeterred tried again "But, what are your goals?"

"I don't have any."


"NONE. Treadmill. Home. That's it. I do realize this is your job and all. But I don't want any. Please, just tell me the magic words to say, or whatever I have to do so that I can not have to do whatever it is you are trying to make me do."


I wish I could have seen my own face, because I bet it was a fantastical display of realization (why yes, yes I could just keep walking away - why do I not think of these things?), shock (I'm out? Already?), confusion (should I be offended?) and glee (he just told me to tell my story walkin! That's hilarious! That's the kind of response Mr. Zoom is really going to be sad he missed out on!)

When I reported the experience to Mr. Zoom, he said "The next time why don't you just shriek and run away instead of trying to talk. Because the results certainly can't be any worse than what happens when you do talk to people."

And he's so very right. But I know me. I have verbal hairballs. When they need to come out, they need to come out.


Theresa said...

Damn, I'd quit my gym if they did anything other than say a cheery "good morning" or "have a nice day".
You did fine. THEY are the ones with the problem, not you.

Mrs. Pie said...

What is this gym thing you speak of? Is it a magical place?

ZooooM said...

Miss T!! I thought you'd left blog world!! You have not!! Nice to see you again.

Mrs. Pie, the gym is an awful awful place. no magic. none. Unless you count all the dead mimes. But really? It's awful. Someone as cute and adorable as you does not need this gym thing so avoid it with all your might.