Tuesday, April 11, 2006

My Office is Suddenly the New World and We are Indigenous Peoples

So the new soda machine arrived the other day. And it is now my most favorite office supply, ever.

This new machine fires cans of soda out of the chute at the bottom with such force, that you'd think it was actually powered by Conquistadors. Anyone making a soda selection is first led to believe that the machine will be keeping their .65 by wheezing a distressing wheeze. When adequately peeved, the customer is then shot in the foot with their icy cold refreshment of choice as it flies from the machine trebuchet style.

Angry soda. Now that's some good times.

9 comments:

theresa said...

That's our Zoom! Limping back from the soda machine thinking she found a new arcade game.

The Management said...

Seriously...Conquistadors....When talking about a soda machine...

You may be a god.

Otter

AndyT13 said...

Angry soda. Trebuchet style.
Yep. She's a God.

Aisha T. said...

Your descriptions are so powerful. I can't stop laughing.

Al said...

Wow 65 cents ours is up to 80 cents.
You've got me in stitches

Anonymous Assclown said...

Maybe the soda machine is angry at you for needlessly disparaging Pepsi in your previous post.

ZooooM said...

T! Yes, I can turn most things into a video game.

Managing Otter, the next post or two should show you how ungodlike I am. You too Andy.

A, I'm tempted to buy people a soda, people in the office who don't know it's weoponry style yet. I just have to get them to stand in front of it and push the buttons.

Al, Jeeber's powers keep our soda machine in the low prices.

AC, PUH! I hate Pepsti and will disparage (congegation?) it ALWAYS. Needlessly is even better. If that gets me an angry soda machine, so be it. I can take my licks (I said licks).

I don't do tough talk very well.

Polyman2 said...

and now you got something
to drink on the way to the hospital
for a leg contusion.
(Try to aim it a little higher
and listen for the gasps of air
from unsuspecting bosses)

BostonPobble said...

Gotta be a God. Or a Goddess. This is a great post.