Wednesday, December 14, 2005

When Moms Google

What's scarier than Banana Guy walking toward me with a baggie full of trail mix? My formerly Amish Mom calling to tell me she tracked down an elementary school chum of mine. USING GOOGLE.

You'd have to know her to understand the true shock of the fact that she did it pretty much on her own. There weren't any fights between us in front of her computer where the winner of the fight was the one who was still holding the mouse after the insults flew. Because she who still has control of the mouse is the one who gets to talk.

At least that's what her computer manual says.

I still can't get FAM (Formerly Amish Mom) to understand her MSN account, nor can I get her to actually get any e-mail out of it because her computer is hooked up to a stone tablet and a chisel - also known as dial up net service...

Yet she called me to say "Oh, hey. I found _____ childhood friend of yours on the internet! Want to know what he/she is up to? I sent him/her a letter.

It should be noted that she didn't send an e-mail. She sent an honest to goodness, antique, ink pen to paper, snail mail.

And I checked up on her research (without telling her, of course) and she had indeed found the person she was looking for. And their e-mail address was right there in really large, let me help you contact me type type. *sigh*

And since I'm well on my way to being disowned by my FAM, I might as well add nearly divorced to the list as well.

Hopefully what appears below are two links to some, um.....video that I took of Mr. Zoom.

When he didn't know I had figured out that my camera had video, and how to use it. He's much more carful about that now. In this first one, the audio outruns the video for some reason...so it ends up being totally out of sinc. But you still get the idea:

Mr. Zoom:

Supply Brow Monster - Custom videocodes by MyWynk

And just in case I haven't insured my sleeping arrangement of sofa out in the cold:

Mr. Zoom:

Slap Dat Ass - Custom videocodes by MyWynk

9 comments:

Ryan said...

ROFL. That's hilarious! On the post-it notes one, he looks like he's in that creepy library in Ghost Busters.

The Management said...

HEhehehe... I too have been trying to assist a FAM... Yours seems to have made a fantastic leap into the 20th Century... Mine hasn't.

Love the pen and paper letter though!

Otter

Rev. Brandy said...

"Are you doing video again?"

HA HA!

theresa said...

Mr. Zoom makes the most adorable Post-It Monster. It's an endearing little video.

Love the story about your FAM. My own Mom is a few steps ahead. My biggest fear is that she'll start blogging and find my site. Then I'll have to move to another country and change my name.

Aisha T. said...

Oh.....ma......gah!!!! Those videos have me dying over here. I'm giggling as i type. I kept re-playing the slap ass video to keep making me laugh. He's adorable!

Your mom is hilarious. I love that she google your friend but, then wrote the letter by hand. I remember in highschool, my mother bought us a computer so we could do our papers on it. That's what she said and then went on to say she didn't want to break it. Because of her fear of breaking, she proceeded to take a MS-DOS class at the community college and now runs my father's office and their home accounts on computers.

Al said...

HOLY CRAP -
C has me laughing like a cheerleader hittin' her first water bong.

My mom also still actually writes letters - I kid her by asking if she just recently stopped using the "thou" and "Begat" and if she needs ink for her quill.

AndyT13 said...

Oh. My. God. Zoomy you are SO punished! The car keys were one thing but that's definitely on the edge of using up a wife life. "Are you doing video again?" Sleep well on the sofa! Just remember one thing: Paybacks are a bitch! LOL

Kathy said...

Damn - I totally missed the wedding! I'm going to have to go back and catch up on stuff!

I hope things are going well for you, and CONGRATULATIONS!

I see your writing just gets more and more funny all the time. Why am I not surprised!

ZooooM said...

I'm glad you all got to see those. It's vintage Mr. Zoom. And now you know why I married him. If he puts up with this from me, he's got to be as close to perfect as a man can get.

Aisha, the only office my mom will be running is the one that constantly tells me how unladylike I am. But that's ok. She has NO IDEA how much she's actually inspired me to be the person I am today.

OTTER! You have a FAM? Does yours have a bunch of duck decoys as decorations too?

Don't worry T, you can come out to CA and live with the rest of us who have been "found out".

Ryan, that's actually our office library. I wish it had an antique card catalog like the movie.

Al, ink for the quill. Good one.

Andy! SHHHHHHH! Don't give Mr. Zoom any ideas!

HI KATHY! I thought you had stopped coming to the blogger land. It's good to see you!! And thanks for the comments!