Tuesday, June 13, 2006

It's GOT to be Better Than the Remake of House of Wax

A couple of weekends ago, I was waiting in my car for an appointment. I was in an older, historic part of town. It was a little overcast.

My favorite.

The night before, Mr. Zoom and I had watched a movie. A movie we should have known would be all kinds of steamy poo, but we watched it anyway. It was the remake of House of Wax. I won't go into detail about how we ended up watching it. Let's just say someone we know is due for a repeated eye poking. With a rusty fork.

So I was in this old part of town daydreaming when an older lady cruised by an abandoned building in her Lark scooter. And she scared the crap out of me. Something about her demented smile and scooter swag - combined with the fact that she looked like she could easily take me in a bar fight despite her 100 year old appearance.

Suddenly I became a movie director/producer/writer. "OH! We could totally make a horror movie about a town made up of evil elderly scooter people! People always think they are harmless because they are in the scooter. Or that they are grandmas who make cookies and knit. We could set it up so that all the counters and stuff are low, all the houses/stores/public areas have amenities that are too low for the walking people to access in time to save themselves. The scooter people could invoke clever trickery and scooter modifications to separate each member of the group and pick them off one by one.

We could call it "The Town that Legs Failed!"

Mind you, I'm in the car BY MYSELF.

Then I went home and told Mr. Zoom about my conversation. With myself. He said "I want in there. I want inside your head. I'd love to know how this happens." He emphasized "this" with an extended wagging index finger pointed at me.

I'd like to get in there myself.


AndyT13 said...

I concur. There could be no more entertaining place to vist, VISIT mind you, than your brain. Hence my constant stalking of your bloggy you brilliant lunatic, you.
I want to pinch your cheeks and go "bougie bougie boo" and make other cooing baby noises at you. You're so cute. The town where legs failed. Evil old scooter people. Priceless.

BostonPobble said...

Creative GENIUS! I want to write the script!

Unacknowledged Genius said...

oh oh oh can i be one of the actors who know danger is imminent yet they stand in one place screaming anyway instead of running away?

scary scooter ladies, great premise!

Aisha T. said...

I want in there too, Zoom. In a good way, in a good way!

ZooooM said...

You guys are too fun.

All of you get to be part of the movie. Andy and BBP can write it, Unack can star in it, and Aisha can bring kittens in as animal actors. Crazy Evil Old Ladies need lots of crazy cats.

Barry said...

Should we hear 'twighlight zon' music before we talk about visiting there?

Ryan said...

I didn't know you were a fan of Paris, Z. ;)

theresa said...

I've been wagging my finger at you for months and months now for the very same reason. I'm next in line after Mr. Zoom. Oh!!! it'll be like "Being John Malkovitch", only instead we'll find a secret passageway-super-slippery-fun-alternate-reality-slide into YOU! Mr. Zoom better not lock me up in a Monkey-cage. If he does, I'll be really cross.

The Management said...

Man, old people really are scray. Ever see Mulholand Drive (spelling?). The old couple from the begining of the movie was some of the scarest stuff I've ever seen.

Well, you know, short of that time I saw Steven Seagal whithout a shirt on.


Spin_Doc1 said...

Oh no! In your car (alone) is the best time to come up with those fabulous ideas, no distractions!