Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Prettiest Pretty.

Last night I was just plain tired. I never want to admit when I'm worn out. I think it comes from being put to bed in the summers when it was still light outside.

Whenever Mr. Zoom and I are on the couch watching t.v. and I start to drift off, he tries to do the kind thing. He will say "How about we put you to bed?" This pushes my button which is clearly marked "harbored bitterness from childhood". Conversation goes as such: "NooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOO. I don't want to. /pout/ You can't make me. I'm not even tired." Followed by my passing out and drooling on the couch. Mid protest. Again.

I'm not sure why whenever he tries to coax me to bed I immediately climb on a mental soap box and start addressing the crowd as such: "If there's one thing that growing up and moving out of my parents' house has given me, it is the right to determine when I will go to bed. And what I can eat for dinner. Nobody else gets to tell me that."

Last night Mr. Zoom faced an evil combination of Reluctantly Tired, PMS, Night Terror Wife.

I wasn't ready to go to bed (surprise) and he was working on his computer. I climbed onto the spare bed in the computer room so I could be with him. I soon fell asleep. I stirred and he convinced me to go to the real bed. At this point I said "My boobs hurt. And now you will pay." And then I went to our room, fell face first into bed and began to drool.

Some time after that, I had a night terror. Or so reports Mr. Zoom. Apparently this is some kind of typical affliction which causes the sleeping person to hallucinate something and act out at it, but not be conscious. A type of sleep walking, only with screaming and lots of it. I normally reserve these precious screaming fits for when Mr. Zoom tries to come to bed himself. It is at this point that I will involuntarily reset his tired meter to downright sober with a dash of "let me check my underwear."

Apparently my mind has changed tactics on both of us, because it let Mr. Zoom settle back down to his computer in the other room before I let loose with a shriek. At nothing.

Next time I'll be sure to invite Mr. Zoom to his own bed by screaming at him and then stealing ALL the covers while making sure to occupy every square inch of the bed, save the 4 inch square spot I'll leave him to sleep in. Oh, and I might as well drool on HIS pillows while I'm at it.

Mr. Zoom was going to leave a comment that said "and this is different than any other night how?"...until I said the drooling on his pillows part.


AndyT13 said...

I profoundly wish I could make your life into a reality show. Because let me tell you, I think the ratings would soar. Soar! I tell you! 'Tis reliably hilarious and non-sensical by turns! Night terrors? My sister had that when she was two. By three she grew out of them. I never heard of an adult having them. And you really have no recollection of this? Weird. Spooky weird. I hereby nominate Mr. Zoom for saithood or at least beautification. He is much put upon. He must love you very very much. I'm almost be envious if I didn't love you guys so much. Rock on!

ZooooM said...

Well, I'm not sure we'd make very good reality t.v. I do, however, agree that Mr. Zoom is a saint. How he hasn't smothered me in my sleep, I still don't know. Oh wait, yes I do. I scare the crap out of him when he tries to approach the bed.

I have only woken up mid night terror once. I didn't remember what made me shriek, I only had the vague feeling I was dreaming or something. Apparently I do this quite regularly. It's most annoying and I really wish I could get it to stop.

theresa said...

There's a new girl at work this week. She shares a pod with 2 other Hot Chiks and I. Today she told me that she had a dream last night about the sound of my laugh. She said she was lost in a series of hallways and she was following the sound of my laugh to find her way out. She woke up giggling. I think you should dream about things like that instead of things that make you scream.

Oh, ... and this is one of the best written posts ever. Chock full of tasty bits of chuckley goodness.

Ryan said...

Why doesn't Mr. Z sleep on top of you? Saves space, and it can be good for both parties. ;)

Spin_Doc1 said...

I am the same way when someone tells me it is time to go to bed!

Polyman2 said...

The Lady protest too much...
Now go to bed.

Barry said...

Hah! I almost posted an empty comment! These stories are too great!

BostonPobble said...

Laughing too hard to comment ~ as usual.