I'm quite a representation of food allergies that suck. Let's take a look:
All dairy and foods made with dairy. Milk, cheese, ice cream. Real butter. Even mashed potatoes if there's enough milk/cheese/real butter in them. That right there was enough to make me cry for a whole day.
Oats. Cheerios, instant oatmeal. Seriously people. I already can't have milk (in cereal), so now we have to take away the oatmeal too?
Wheat. Frosted shredded wheat is now a distant memory.
Peanuts, walnuts, actually, any kind of nut. I don't get the scary reaction that you've heard in the news, I just get hives/rash/itching that will.not.stop. Even my hair itches. NO PEANUTBUTTER. Do you even know what it's like to give up Trader Joe's chocolate covered peanut butter pretzels? DO YOU!?
And now we can add alcoholic beverages to the list. That's right. I am allergic to booze. Thank god I already fooled Mr. Zoom into marriage.
It's not the actual alcohol I'm reacting to - but it might as well be:
This is all based on my novice opinion and the 3,000 tubes/spray bottles of Gold Bond anti-itch savior sauce I've marinated in over the last year. All in an attempt to deny that this fact can actually be true.
And let me tell you something. You know how Claritin is "non-drowsey"? Maybe when compared to narcolepsy. Because when I have to take it for a week straight, It puts me down like a lawn dart. It is much better than trying to function on Benadryl, but it still isn't exactly the antihistamine alertness miracle.
And here's a new, lower level of reason to be bummed at the alcohol allergy. You see, ever since Mr. Zoom and I got married, our pals have created (so I've heard, anyway) a pool wherein money has been placed on when we will have a critter.
I really hope there's a square for "no critter" and someone puts a lot of money on it. Because WE AREN'T HAVING ANY KIDS. But nobody wants to hear or accept that.
Anytime I sit out a gathering among friends, they now think I'm pregnant. One weapon I could always count on to stop that silliness was DRINKING when I did see my friends.
I need to have pamphlets made. "I am not pregnant. We are sorry you won't be winning the bet - but we told you so. I am living this way because I am allergic to all foods/beverages fun. Please water me frequently. Feed me cheese less pizza, dry salad and plain or powdered doughnuts. With a side of steak."