Friday, October 13, 2006

Right. Ok.

Mr. Zoom and I pulled into the parking lot of our local IHOP. We were both distracted right away by the large apaprtment complex that sits next to that parking lot. There was activity in one of the apartments. Mr. Zoom said "See that? It looks like there's some nekkid going on there..." I didn't have my glasses on, and could only see featurless forms from that far away.

After about 20 seconds, we both lost interest and started to get out of the truck. Mr. Zoom had driven. I opened my door and at that moment a police officer ran by. I almost tagged him by opening my door. I actually said out loud "oh no" as he went past. It wasn't even an excited "oh no", just a matter of fact "oh.no."

I watched the cop go through the bushes (about 2 ft high) that border the parking lot, and then disappear. He fell right on his face. Kerplunk. The bushes hide the fact that immediately after the asphalt of the parking lot is a nasty decline? (down and away - leading to a sidewalk) with pelenty of slippery foliage on it. If you aren't ready for it, apparently one takes a nasty tumble forward and pretty much lands on their head. And any nightstick that person happens to be carrying will fly up in the air so that any witnesses will think "how cartoony was that?"

Mr. Zoom said to the space where we thought the cop landed "are you ok?" While that was going on, I got excited and tried to exit the truck. What I forgot was that we were parked in such a way that the parking lot gutters made a strange valley right where I jumped out. And this should be no surprise to anyone out there, I too fell down but next to my truck. Right there in the parking lot. I pulled myself up about the time I heard the police man say "I'm fine". I turned around and watched him run into a waiting police car and they drove away.

Mr. Zoom had been watching the polcie man activity. He didn't know his balance challenged wife had managed to skin her knees in the IHOP parking lot. He didn't know the grown ups all around him this night would start falling over like a 7 10 split being picked up. He came over and helped me assess the damage. I assured him I was fine, just scraped up a bit.

We had come to the IHOP for some breakfast for dinner, and I wasn't about to let falling down get in the way of that. When we got inside I went to the loo to wash off my knees where I could see the bruising and scraping was going to mature into some wicked pretty colors in the next few days.

While in there I caught my reflection in the mirror and had the talking heads moment that goes "How did I get here? Less than 10 minutes ago this day was damn near normal. Next thing you know after a conversation about nekkid strangers, a police man runs by, falls down, I fall down, and then I find myself practically taking a bath in the sink of an IHOP loo! Thank goodness I wore flip flops."

BRILLIANT!

8 comments:

BostonPobble said...

Laughing too hard to type......

theresa said...

I'm going to start following you around with a video camera. Your life is GOLD!

Al said...

random neekidness, skinned knees and cops - sounds like an Alabama weddin'

Polyman3 said...

I knew you were
unbalanced.

Same thing happend to my 12 yr old
daughter yesterday while picking pumpkins. Came over carrying a very large pumpkin, and a few feet away went down. I thought she was joking, till she got up with bloody knees but still holding the pumpkin.

AndyT13 said...

When are you going to start wearing kneepads and a helmet?
Because really... :-)

It would have been twice as funny if you had taken the cop out with your door and THEN he took the cartoon tumble over the hedge.
Not a big cop fan...

ZooooM said...

It felt like I was starring in Ghetto Alice in Wonderland.

T, I welcome all the witnesses I can get. I've had friends say "If I wasn't standing here when that happened, I'd have never believed it."

And there is Al with his wonderful funny. Nice one Al.

Poly, your daughter knows how to fall and hold on to stuff. She's miles ahead of me.

Andy, I've always known I need the helmet. I just hadn't really thought about the knee pads.

eros in wunderland said...

What you need is a champion to keep you from harms way at all times.

Rev. Brandy said...

Oh, Zoomie! My poor Zoomie. I am so sorry you are skinned and hurt, but I am laughing a little at your klutziness. I share it, so I can relate. Hugs.