Monday, October 30, 2006

Why, That's Below the Standard of CARE!

Our office makes coffee available to its employees. FREE. We have one of those cup at a time machines, with about 6 different kinds of coffee to chose from.

It wouldn't matter if there were 100 kinds to chose from, someone would be unhappy with the FREE coffee. Just like there's always someone unhappy with the FREE bagels and muffins provided on Fridays.

Everyone knows there are people who would rather complain and still take advantage of the free, rather than quietly go fulfill their needs elsewhere at their own cost. I tend to think of it as misplaced entitlement, and it amuses me that people waste so much energy complaining about the free.

This morning I was treated to a new level of misplaced entitlement. It was frosted with the painfully obvious "someone learned a new phrase and isn't using it correctly."

A particular employee of this firm is what is known as a table pounder. He/she constantly uses the f bomb and emphasizes his/her verbal communications with clenched fists hammering on whatever surface is in front of him/her.

Attorney Smash was at the coffee machine when I came in to the kitchen.

"THERE'S NO DECENT COFFEE HERE! It's all this flavored and decaf crap." <------- (lets all take a moment to notice of the use of the word crap, shall we? In my head I said "poo, you should call it poo - or you will be written up.")

"THERE'S NOTHING LEFT BUT THIS LOSS LEADER COFFEE AND THEY ARE FORCING IT ON US!"

Now, the last time I discussed the term Loss Leader with someone, I was told it was a desirable item that a business sold at a loss in order to tempt customers to look around and buy other items. A way to get people through the door. I'm pretty sure it's not the stuff that's left over that nobody wants.

I pretended to look through the cabinets in an attempt to find Attorney Smash some "good" coffee. I kept saying "Nope, all that is here is that....what did you call it?"

"LOSS LEADER! LOSS LEADER FLAVORS, THEY ARE FORCING THEM ON US. I can't stand this. UGH."

Attorney Smash repeated this loss leader theory to at least 2 more people who came in the room. Every one of them glazed over with a mental block building look. They seem to like the loss leader coffee just fine. As do I. In fact, it's rare that those flavors are so plentiful.

I hid my giggles by pretending to search yet another cabinet. At least one other person listening to his rant caught on to what I was doing and before long we both had to leave the kitchen.

It must be hard to go through life believing all acts are a covert attack on one's happiness. I wonder if I can get some rumors going around the office confirming that fact before my last day arrives.

6 comments:

BostonPobble said...

As someone who has just spent six months of her life defining words and phrases such as "loss leader" I am now sitting here in my superior bubble with a lovely glow.

Thanks.

ZooooM said...

BBP! That's right! I'll need to get a copy of that book and have it sent to him/her! I also really need to get myself a copy.

Alexiev said...

mmm

ZooooM said...

Si Alexiev. That's about all the Spanish I know. Hello, er.. Bueno? My apologies for the lack of knowing your language. I tried. I really did. Flunked me the Spanish class TWICE in college. But as you can see, I'm a huge menace to English...so it's probably nice that I don't try too muc Spanish.

Barry said...

It seems those arrogant types are in all walks of life!

kimber the wolfgrrrl said...

At my place of employment, each person can pay $5 a month, which is then put in a fund to buy coffee, milk, sugar and a cake on your birthday. You don't have to pay into the coffee fund, but if you opt out of the coffee fund, you can't touch the goods and you get no cake.