Sunday, November 20, 2005

All The Randomness

Here comes Thanksgiving. I'm in it for the food, not for the shopping. I wouldn't get up for an After Thanksgiving Sale if they were handing out early retirement as a gagiillionaire. I wouldn't attend an After Thanksgiving Sale at a human shopping times, or even in the weeks following that dreadful day unless I had riot gear. Then I'd only be in it for the fact that I could run through Target the same way I drive on the street in my big black truck.

Since I'm not going to have much time in the next week to amuse myself with this blog toy, I'm going to leave it today with a random, mish mash post of little stuff I haven't been able to put anywhere else.

There's a guy at our office, we shall call him Big MoMo. He's hilarious. He works in our copy room, delivers mail to us, etc. That is how I end up interacting with him on a daily basis. Also, he's most obviously gay. Down to the stereotypical dress, speak and hand movements. We've even discussed the hotness of the vending machine guy that showed up to restock our machines the other day.

A couple of months after he started, he came by my desk and said the following, as if he was asking me to sign for an overnight package: "Don't take this the wrong way....but you are weird." And then he went on to the next desk. I laughed for 2 days over that. And I found it to be more of a compliment, than anything. Most people recognize that I'm weird right away, but I've never had anyone just come out and say it. I love that about him. He's got the same "oh crap I just said something right to that person without thinking" thing that I do.

One day Big MoMo and some of the girls were talking and he said "Hey, do you guys have anything for fat? You know, a creme or something?" One of the girls whirled around and said "Yes, it's called EXERCISE."

Right before the W, Big Mo Mo came by my desk and was asking me about diets. I said "Well, after the W, I won't have to think too much about what I eat. Because, as a girl you probably know that once the ring is on the finger, we are destined to blow up all kinds of large! You know all those cookies I've been passing up on? Birthday cake day and all? Well, after the W, it's on." He responded as deadpan as always "Well, as you can see - I'm WAAAAY ahead of schedule."

About 3 weeks before the W, I was with my Mom. She had wanted to go out to eat, and we all know this can be a chore with her at times. Of course we went to Claim Jumper. The thing about Mom that amazes me is that she's probably their Number One Fan, but still hasn't figured out that the person who takes your order there ISN'T THE PERSON WHO BRINGS OUT YOUR FOOD.

We made our order, and for the first time in my life the food came out super quick. It came out so fast, Mom was convinced that there was no way it could be our food, and she kept refusing to start eating it and was trying to get "our waitress"'s attention. And do you know what her evidence was? Yup. The fact that the person who brought it to us WASN'T THE GIRL WHO TOOK OUR ORDER. I've tried over and over again to get this concept through to her, but it never sticks. And the thing is, we ordered some things in a way that made it impossible for this here food to belong to anyone else BUT us. I went ahead and ate. When "our waitress" finally confirmed for Mom that it was her order, I'm pretty sure it was cold.

Oh, and this one is for Mr. Zoom. Mr. Zoom can't understand why I can't fill my gas tank at the gas station all the way to full when I go. This has been an issue with me since I started driving.

If I've borrowed a car, I have no trouble filling the tank up. I am happy to do it. But with my own car, I seem to get bored about 40 seconds into it and it's all I can do to let it keep running. I think about all the things I need to do, or the fact that I just want to be home, and I go. My reasoning - "Well now I have some gas, it's enough to get me to where I need to be in the next couple of days/hours."

This makes Mr. Zoom nuts. He will usually fill my tank for me, because he knows I do this. I also get bored waiting for HIM to fill the tank, but he just gives me a toy and goes back to filling the thing up.

Last week I got away from him with the truck and it was low on gas. I told him I'd go get some. The next time we were in the car he just looked at the gauge and started laughing one of those defeated, why did I think any different laughs. He said "Didn't you tell me you were going to get gas the other day?" I said "I did. It was at almost empty, and now it's at almost half full!"

He said "Yeah. Ok. I need to start looking for jackets that tie in the back."


Al said...

So are zoomers and little jeebes dining at your folks, his folks or hosting?
anyway - i hate black friday. My wife worked in a sears in H.S. and has vowed never to walk into a retail establishment (if it can be at all helped) from Thanksgiving till Jan.5th. When we were first dating I asked if she wanted to go to the mall and make fun of the kids waiting to see Santa, She busted this gone with the wind, "as god as my witness" speach. Scared the crap outa me.

Aisha T. said...

Wow. That is the first time I have heard of boredom at the pump. Sorry, Zoom, that would drive me absolutely bananas! My dad was always the type that would wait a really long time to fill up the gas and then we'd be stranded on the side of the road while he walked to get a little bit to get going. Ever since I could drive, I wouldn't let it fall past half tank. For fear of being stranded if it fell under half. (Don't have to worry in the city since i haven't had a car for years.)

I see weirdo as a good thing. :-D

theresa said...

I thought I was the only one who got bored filling my gas tank. Thankfully I have a teeny-tiny car so it doesn't take so long to fill. When I'm with big truck people, they get back in the cab to find their glove compartment entirely reorganized. So the toys work? I want toys. People need to leave toys in their glove compartments.

Enjoy your fat and happy days of wedded bliss.

ZooooM said...

Al, Jeeber and the Zooms are eating all the dinners in Califorina this year. At least I think so. Jeeber might even go with me to the gym tonight.

Aisha, if my dad did that I'd probably be filling the tank all the way too. Or, I'm just super strange. I'm betting strange. =)

T, the toys work, but they have to come in rapid succession. And it's easy to get "spoiled". I usually suggest a Coke, because I can NEVER keep from spilling something on myself. Give me a Coke, and I'm happy for 10 seconds, and then pissed off for 10 minutes because "I've done that spilling thing again."

Happy Thanksgiving guys. Hope you are all full at the end of the day.

AndyT13 said...

Jackets that tie in the back!
I LOVE that guy we all call Mr. Zoom! My Samurai name in college was "Always On Empty" but not from boredom. Mostly from "I can make it with this much gas if I coast a lot on the way." Don't ask.
Hope you had a happy T day!