The house of Zoom has suffered from plastic hand-me-down furniture and mismatched towels for almost a year. It's not that we care all that much about our "stuff", but since we were going through the big W, we figured we should semi coordinate the house decor and see what kind of adults we could be.
One of those upgrades turned out to be new bathmats and towels for the loos. We ended up with some brand called Hotel Collection.
While I'm detagging the bath mats, I notice on the back of the tag in teeny type were the following sentences:
Flammable (Fails U.S. Dept. of Commerce Std. FF2-70). Should not be used near source of ignition.
And then I was afraid. I mean, I've never read Std. FF2-70 - but...
Mr. Zoom kills clowns*. Dead clowns are flammable. Now my bath mats are telling me that THEY are flammable as well.
Have I just voided our homeowner's fire insurance policy?
*Clown Killing = Farts. Women's version = Releasing Weiner Dogs. It all has to do with the sound, people. Loud clappers usually sound like someone has killed a clown and stomped on his horn nose. Weiner Dogs make that little whiny noise that is reluctant and shy - like a girl saying "I do not do that, that's gross - but that one just slipped out. I coudn't help it."