Saturday, January 07, 2006

It Was In My Pants.

I've been on vacation for a week. The best part about vacation is sleeping in whenever I want.

The second best thing is wearing my jeans and whatever sweater/sweat shirt I can steal from Mr. Zoom's closet.

Mr. Zoom came down with the latest flu thing going around so I did a lot of running around on my own. The thing was, I couldn't seem to walk into or out of a store without tripping the security system. I hadn't even bought anything, so I had no items with me that might set it off.

Nobody made any sudden moves toward me, so I figured security - whatever/whoever it was knew it was a false alarm. Annoying, but at least I wasn't on my way to jail. I had promised Mr. Zoom when I left that I would not get arrested.

When I got home I went to our loo. And that is where I discovered that my pants were hiding something from me.

I ran into the computer room with my pants around my thighs, waving my monkey hands around in the air and saying "Look! Look what I found in my pants!" Mr. Zoom calmly turned from his computer and waited for the explanation.

"Remember all of those jeans I bought right before Christmas?! They all have a thingie! They set off alarms!" He just shook his head and started to laugh.

The security tag is encased in a cloth tag that actually says "Remove before washing or wearing" on it. This is located in the front part of the pants, inside, just to the right of the zipper. Where supposedly, normal human beings notice a big white cloth tag with a message on it. Of course I hadn't bothered to do that with any of my new pants. I had even washed them a few times.

It reminds me of when I first started finding those little squares of paper with metallic designs on them in books I would buy. I had NO IDEA they were theft deterrent devices. I simply thought that they were left over from packaging/shipping of some kind. Like an alien chad or something?

And now every time I go into a store and trip the security system, I'll have to look in my pants.


Sam said...

This is the only time I could type after I couldn't stop laughing my head off. I have an implant above my ear inside my head and some store's alarms go off when i pass through them.

theresa said...

Those pesky pants hide all kinds of things don't they. Mine usually hide the fabric softener sheets. They slide out the bottom AFTER I get to work, when I'm supposed to be "professional". The funniest was when I was walking down the hall, stopped to bend over to pull the little hideaway out from my cuff, and didn't realize someone was behind me. I got totally slammed in the rear. I'd like to say it was the best thing that happened to me all week, but the young man was way too embarrassed to have fun with it.

Al said...

ohhhhh the number of joked running through my head. I can only imagine the look Mr. Zoom gave you with the - guess what's in my pant thing. Ummm that's usually a trick high school/college guys (ok most of us are still mentally in high school/college) try to play on girls.
Alien chads - love it

ZooooM said...

Howdy Sam! Thanks for stopping by. And you know, we could totally mess with stores by going shopping and entereing and exiting at opposite ends of the store?

T, OH MY GOSH. I never thought of the magically appearing dryer sheet!!! And slammed in the rear toooooo! he he he.

Al, if I could have taken a picture of the moment I came through the door with my pants down and arms waving, I would have. He's pretty well desensitized to my crazy. He waits for the back up dialogue before he reacts.

Oh, and my brain resides happily in both the gutter and high school/collge. It's one of the side effects of having two older brothers as guides through life.

Aisha T. said...

Leave it to your booty to be tripping alarms, Zooom! *grin* Seriously, who the hell would look inside a pair of pants to remove the security tags. Wait, I've got to go and check recently purchased apparel items.

Ryan said...

The last time I found a foriegn object in my jeans, I shouted out of the laundry room "Mom, I found your cell phone!" Ugh. Bad memories.

But I'm really happy I spelled "foriegn" correctly! Yes!