Tuesday, March 28, 2006

My New Hit Single - Stultified

Things can be going quite normally one moment, and the next you find yourself explaining to someone that no, you didn't mean to imply that because he's black and he is leaving town suddenly, that he might be a fugitive.

No, really.

It's 10 a.m. I'm in a particular department at the office. A co-worker that I am acquainted with lets it be known that he will be "going away for a few days very suddenly. It's a t.v. thing."

I looked at my co-worker and said "OH MY! I hope it's... it's nothing ...BAAAD. ... IS IT??"

I immediately tried to retrieve my decorum, but it's kinda hard when you've thrown it down on the floor and pretty much kicked it under the nearest filing cabinet.

I clumsily explained that my family spent a good number of years fearing television appearances by certain other members of our family - due to the rather unorthodox and quite illegal lives they were pursuing.

Oh hello, nice to meet you. Let's not bother with my actual name, you may now simply refer to me as ineptoolio, yo.

Thank goodness he is familiar enough with my sense of humor and social clumsiness that he didn't take it in a way that made him file a complaint with management. Although, I bet the next time I need his department to work on a project with me there's a good chance that it will come back with "Die Clown!" written all over it. And I wouldn't blame him.

11 comments:

theresa said...

It's a bit worse when you say things like that to people who DON'T know you well enough to understand. And then your name gets expanded to Ineptoolio Profundo as your friends try to smooth things over and explain your oddness to the victim while your head gets really hot and you're sure all your sweat glands are on overdrive ... not that I would know, mind you.

Another classic Zoom-i-licious story!

Al said...

back when I was working in radio, I tried did some stupid DJ stunt and it got covered by local news. I went and called my mom and told her I was going to be on TV and would sent her a tape. Her first words were - "it's not Cops" is it"
My mom, she has so much confidence in me

theresa said...

Here's a classic ...
My friend Betty White (not THE Betty White), a model of social decorum, attended a funeral of a close family friend. After the funeral she was chatting with the widow and totally stuck her foot in her mouth. She affably asked, "So how's Ralph? Has he been able to get any golfing in this spring?" Ralph, of course was the dearly departed.

Zoooomy, you still have a little way to go before you acheive Betty White status.

Rev. Brandy said...

TV as in reality television or TV as in transvestite?

The Management said...

Actually it's TV as in Topical Vacuum.

It's new.

Otter

ZooooM said...

Well, I feel a little better knowing I'm not yet at Betty White status, although I seem to be currently channelling Al's mom.

Rev, my head was thinking tv as in cops or america's most wanted...

but thanks. Now if someone says tv I'll think they are a transvestite. And that should throw a whole new level of ineptoolio into the mix.

Managing Otter Man, I still love zoning out in front of the tv. I shouldn't, but I do.

The Management said...

Actually most post wasn't commentary... It was just sillyness. THose were the first two words that popped in my head that T and V could stand for.

d.

The Management said...

make that "my post" not "most post" I am so typing handicapped.

Ryan said...

"Thank goodness he is familiar enough with my sense of humor."

Story of my life. Every. Single. Day.

:p

ZooooM said...

OTTER'S DRUNK POSTING AGAIN. Oh wait, that's me....

AndyT13 said...

Ineptoolio! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! You never fail to come up with a brilliant new term to make me laugh!