Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Sometimes People Ask

Who wears the pants in your family?

If there's anything worthy of being pointed out as being worn by anyone in our family, it is that I wear the helmet and Mr. Zoom wears my sass.

One night while watching a documentary on the Queen Mary 2 Cruise Ship, Mr. Zoom asked me a trivia question. "What ship also went to England and went through that ceremony thing there?" My answer leaked out of me with a questioning tone. "Ship of Fools?"

He sighed. "No, Titanic."

One morning I was on the search for a washcloth for our bathroom. Mr. Zoom came out holding the item I had retrieved saying "Knucklehead, this is a face/hand towel. Not a washcloth." I immediately shot back at him "Don't get all domestic name cally on ME!"

Of all the things traditionally domestic and womany that I don't know or don't do, why did I attack him for calling a towel by it's proper name? Why did I suddenly feel like he was giving me the business and somehow saying (without saying, mind you) that I was inadequate in the towel/wash cloth department?

Diagnosis: Missing helmet. Sometimes I forget to wear it.

This is why I'm so excited to present this video to you. Every speck of red on Mr. Zoom is from his participation in the belly flop contest that occured not more than 10 minutes after we arrived at a friend's house this weekend. It's as close as I might ever get to seeing him without a helmet.

Check this out:

Belly Flop - Custom videocodes by MyWynk


The Idiot said...

Outweighed by 50 to 100 pounds

Outheighthed (oh, a new word) by 5 to 6 inches

I DECIMATED the belly flop competition.

Just so we're clear, a belly flop must in fact flop or slap to be considered a belly flop. None of this splay out and then curl up like a fetus pre-entry crap. Your body must slap the water.

And in case you're still wondering about correct form and technique....

Third degree burns over your entire body is the only true litmus test for accuracy (see video)

Barry said...

Eh - we all get defensive at times... just put your helment back on;)

AndyT13 said...

Where to begin? The belly flop burn is priceless. Dude, you SO win just based on color alone!
Face cloth? Hand towel? Wash cloth?
WTF? These items are somehow different? How? My ignorance of such things is legendary no doubt but still... I piture a hand towl being 12x18 inches or so and the other kind square about 8x8. There's another kind? Where's my helmet? Also, Zoomie you are the only person I know in the world who I let get away with butchering language the way you do. It's just so wrong it's right. Love ya!

AndyT13 said...

Also, big points for not missing the entire pool. That happens sometimes if enough alcohol is involved.

Spider Girl said...

Ow ow ow ow ow...I guess those red marks are a badge of honor...of sorts. :)