Saturday, September 30, 2006

It's Like An ET Extra Wandered Away from the Movie

Home ownership rocks. It really does. Except when it blows hard. It blows pretty hard when you have to hire a band of beekeepers to extract a hive out of your roof. Twice.

The only good thing about it is watching the cars drive by and wonder why there's some guy in a hazmat looking suit on your roof? Because the bees aren't visible to just anyone happening on the scene randomly. Or so we've learned.

I was only brave enough to take pictures (from practically across the street) for about 5 minutes. Then I ran back inside where the angry bees couldn't get me.

If the bees are smart, which I think they are, they will just let me continue to live my life in unbelievable Needs Helmetness as their revenge.

I had learned after about 15 years of being a member of the work force that I am never EVER going to be able to obtain a cup of coffe and drive to work with it, without wearing it. Or having the interior of my car wear it. Impressive, no?

To counter act this, I put one of those little packages of kleenex in the center console of my truck. You know the ones I'm talking about? The little plastic wrapped mini kleenex package your gradma or your mom carried in her purse?

The next day I get my coffee on the way to work. I predictablly spilled it. Thing is, I didn't count on spilling it directly into the plastic reservoir that is ON TOP OF the center console that I put the kleenex in. And it happens that the center console flips open in order to get to the contents inside. Flips open in a way that all the coffee it was now holding would have been flug all over the truck and me (again) in an attempt to clean it up.

It was a magnificinet moment. I drove to work with a little puddle of coffee flowing around the center console top like a lava lamp goo blob. And it circulated in time with my traffic stops, starts and turns. DELIGHTFUL. It's footprint remains dried on the console today.


Barry said...

I hear ya on that spilling thing. I can walk by a car with the hood open and grease jumps on my clothes. I dont have to touch anything.

theresa said...

There was a moment a couple years ago that I realized I'd become exactly the driver that everyone HATES. I was doing that extreme multi-tasking thing of applying lipstick, talking on my cell phone, drinking coffee, and smoking a cigarette while driving to work. Gads! If my father saw me he'd disown me on the spot.
Of course, I think driving in Iowa City, Iowa is probably a little less complicated than where you are.

Love the picture. It's a great one for the Zoooom family archives.

Al said...

Houston to Zoomer - I think we have a problem

AndyT13 said...

Bee keepres? BEE KEEPERS?!?!!
Around here we call them exterminators but most people make do with a can of raid. That's pretty bizarre even by your standards. Coffee spillage?
Meh. There is no eating, drinking or smoking allowed in the new Subaru. Evar. You should know better, especially you of the "makes a mess while walking by innocently" type. I'm suprised you don't cause massive pile-ups every day doing shit like that LOL!
I still love you though. Truly.

Unacknowledged Genius said...

Just think of how much worse the mess could have been had you not had the unintentional foresight to put the kleenexes there to sop it up. I think you may be psychic.

Polyman2 said...

So you have bees in the beefry?
Good luck. We have mobs of little ants invading us, should I get an anteater?
I once placed a 16oz hot 7-11 coffee on my dashboard and forgot it as I kicked the car in reverse to get to a parking spot... Talk about burned & pissed! and I was in a new suit.Arrrrgggg.

Spin_Doc1 said...

My best friend claims that the bees remember, so beware! Her hublet has been stung mulitple times this summer, weeks after trying to extract the nest.

ZooooM said...

Hi everybody! I've been running around like crazy so I haven't been here much.

We are all in agreement then? I am a menace on the road. And with things in general.

ZooooM said...