Tuesday, September 12, 2006

It's Like Paying For Air, Only It Makes Even Less Sense Than That.

I bet that's what it feels like to be married to me.

Mr. Zoom kindly reminded me that we were back on track for watching our funds this morning. I consciously registered the message. I was not going to make that $20 tip mistake again. My inner dyslexic, however, sent the following orders to my body: "At the first possible moment after this conversation, throw some money at a situation and obtain nothing in return. That'd be NEAT."

Not 5 minutes after our e-mail conversation, I bought lunch from our office lunch vending lady. I paid her in advance for an item she would bring around noon. She does this every single day. I've done this with her at least 38 times, and it always works out just fine.

This time she returned to our office when I was away from my desk AND she left without even trying to find me. Normally, she will have someone go find the person who ordered from her so she can deliver. I've been the person she's asked to do this very thing, a bunch of times. Our office paging system isn't the best, so you can't always be sure you will hear the arrival of the lunch lady. She knows that.

About 12:30 I started to wonder where she was. I asked around and everyone gave me the face. The "oooh bummer, she already came and went" face. So there I stood, in the middle of my office having paid $6.00 for a lunch that would never find it's way to me today. I ended up going to Del Taco and spending another $6.00.

So basically I paid $12.00 to eat barely $6.00 worth of food today. FANTASTIC!

How could I have thought it would go any differently? There's nothing more dangerous than my being extremely careful.

In addition, as I walked through the mall to get to the Del Taco, a human pop up ad handed me a Bic Duo "For free! It's a high lighter and a pen, all in one!" SWELL! Can I eat it? NO. Do I need one of these? NO. Did anyone at the office want it when I came back? No.

My ability to obtain the things I don't need and lose or outright destroy the ones I do is truly astounding. I played with the pen while waiting in line for my lunch, and predictably wrote on myself (unintentionally) with both the ink (black) and the high lighter (yellow).

Might as well write FINANCIAL DOOM!! on my forehead and highlight it with screaming yellow high lighter.


Spider Girl said...

Hopefully the lunch lady will be awesomely apologetic the next time she sees you and throw in some free lunch sometime.

I hope so.

I've been known to stupidly forget to carry ANY cash and then when it's my coffee break I am desperately begging my poor co-workers for $1.25 so I can make it through the afternoon with caffeine in my blood.

It's not the samet thing as the lunch lady leaving without giving you your food, but I think it might inspire the same sort of emotion in me as when the coffee thing happens.

Maybe the universe is testing us...

Unacknowledged Genius said...

Won't she give you today's lunch for yesterday's pay?

Spin_Doc1 said...

Good luck, if you keep your nose to the grind stone.... Who am I kidding? May the universe not forget it owes you money!

AndyT13 said...

I really have to put down my coffee before reading your blog.
Coffee. Out. The. Nose.
Love ya! I'm sure Lunch Lady will hook you up. If not beat her down, take her lunch AND her money.
So there.

ZooooM said...

Sorry for the group reply, I'm so little on time to play on the blogosphere these days....

Hi all. Well, we shall see if today's lunch was paid for yesterday, or I simply melt into a puddle of giving up with this whole money/eating thing.

I think if I explain, our lunch lady will fork over an entre.

BostonPobble said...

"There's nothing more dangerous than my being extremely careful."

When I was with the SGM, I used a phrase everytime he deployed. It is now my (tongue-in-cheek) gift to you:

Be smart. Don't be careful. Careful gets you killed. Just be smart.


I've missed you while I've been writing!

Barry said...

obviously - just give up and relax- otherwise no telling what it will cost ya

I agree with Andy - this blog makes me laugh all the time!

ZooooM said...

Thanks BBP. Honestly, it is a sentence I'm going to take with me. I need these little things you people have and share with me here.

Barry, I've been relatively ok the last few days in the money/food area. Now opening my pie hole? That's a whole new stormy sea we are looking at.