Thursday, May 26, 2005

Padlock Foolery

So I decide to join the gym with C. We begin going somewhat regular, and I'm feeling proud because I can go to a place where I will have to interract ever so slightly with strangers...while trying to exercise the jiggle away. This is never a comfortable situation, I don't care how un-self conscious anyone claims to be.

SO. We only had one padlock, and just didn't have the time/ability to remember to get a second one. After making C keep my little bag in his locker for like 2 weeks in a row, and realizing it's a pain for him to fetch it when I'm done with my routine and he's got another hour to go, we purchase a lock for me. My very own.

We got it at a hardware store on our way to the gym last night. C set the code for me while I drove.

We get to the gym and I scurry into the locker room and lock up my stuff. I do my jiggle and return to the locker room.

Turns out the combination works fine, but I can't remove the actual lock from the lock holder thingies. It was perfectly sized as to go on there, but never EVER come off of there.

I go out and tell C what happened. He tells me to keep trying. We both figured it went on, it HAS to come off, right?


So C fetches a Gym Minion, and she was the most unhappy minion I've ever seen. She was exactly like that Emily the Strange character.

Emily the Unhappy Gym Minion pulls out these HUGE NEON YELLOW lock cutters and leads me back to the locker room. When those things came out, C could tell my eyes were making the "Oh my lord could they be any more conspicuous?" face.

So Emily chopps the lock off and turns around. She smiles for the first time in probably centuries, and says "Would you like me to throw this away for you?" I just shook my head yes and tried to ignore the 5, pink dressed girls who were staring from me to my locker and Emily, transfixed by the commotion.

Emily leaves. I gather my stuff, turn around and nearly run over this elderly lady, dressed only in a towel and with wet hair who says to me: "Whas matter? You forget you combination?"


I just shook my head no, and bolted for the door.

Stupid lock cost about $10 and didn't even last as long as a movie!

As they say, one step forward, two steps back.

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