Sunday, April 03, 2005

I'm Ready For A Kick in Teeth

It's Sunday, which means that Intervention is on tonight. This show is brutal. I've often wondered why I'm drawn to watch it, even though it results in what feels like I'm willingly asking the t.v. to kick me right in the teeth.

I think it's something C said once while we discussed our ability to absorb and/or TiVo every show about "weirdo" behavior that the cable company can throw at us. I've mentioned them before, City Confidential, Cold Case Files, Cold Case (fictional), American Justice, Law & Order (fictional), as well as other shows related to the same kind of thing.

He says "We are both fascinated with deviant behavior".

Now, I don't want anyone thinking we hold the mistaken belief that we are better than anyone or that we aren't just as likely to end up in unfortunate situations ourselves. That's not it. For me, it's just a life-long question I've had: "How do people end up there?" (Having murdered, or even serial murdered? Being so addicted to drugs that they steal, hurt family, end up homeless, that kind of thing.)

I also seem equally fascinated with religions, cults, so-called secret societies, number based fortune telling - any belief system that comes with its own "woo woo" set of rules and regulations.

There are two "ah-ha" times in my life that I can look back on and realize this has been with me for a while.

My mom had raised me Protestant. One weekend I had to stay with an Aunt, and she took me to her traditional Catholic Church. Because I had been told and believed "ONLY ONE religion is the RIGHT religion....all others are evil", I apparently left the Catholic Church terrified of my own family members. After all, the mumbling of a language I couldn't understand (how did everyone around me know what to say?) and the constant kneeling was freaking me out.

My mom explained that it wasn't evil. That there were all kinds of religions out there and that people chose which one they wanted. So then I asked her "If all of these different religions are out there, how do we know which one is the right one?" She didn't have an answer. How could she?

From that point on, I knew that there was an entire world of belief systems out there that I could discover. I knew learning about them didn't mean I had to believe them - but if I found one I liked, I might be able to get on board.

The second time was during a class in either high school or junior college. It involved the instructor showing us a historic gothic church. He explained how from the "air", the church's floor plan revealing a cross can be seen. I thought that was the coolest thing I'd ever learned.

Today I am without religious affiliation, but have in no way run out of religions to explore.

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