Thursday, April 21, 2005

Sit Down, Wilma.

So it's day three of my battle of the flu, and as it turns out, I'm becoming adjusted to the Benadryl. This is not good.

See, when I first started taking it, I would be knocked unconscious for at least 10 hours at a time. There was no wandering around, talking to and/or confusing myself. There was no need to attach myself conversationally to C when he came through the door after work. I would simply slide off the couch and go to the bedroom. It was my silent way of saying "Here honey, take the couch, the remote and the t.v. I love you, but I feel like crap. I missed you too, but the Benadryl has stolen my ability to be conscious."

Unfortunately for all, the sleep is pretty much all done for me and C is trying to cope with what once was a fairly independent and pleasantly mute girlfriend after work.

So today I'm watching t.v. when the Benadryl takes me to the peaceful place. The place where I can breathe out of both nostrils.

The next thing I know, I'm watching Jerry Springer. My vocabulary has now been enriched with all kinds of insults to fling at perfect strangers. Things like "You and your 7$ shirt...." and "I've got yer *insert the last noun/verb spoken by opponent*!" <--- this one seems to be a parachute - to be used when there's just nowhere else to go - in any and all situations. Then there was "Sit down, Wilma." Which makes no sense at all, but feels so dang snappy.

Later, I'm washing my hands in the bathroom. The same bathroom I've had for over 4 months now, and for the very first time realize I've been working our sinks the wrong way.

Parcher? You bitch.

As you may or may not be able to see here, there is simply a knob at the top that toggles around. One way is hot, one way is cold. Normal people know that hot is on the left and cold is on the right.

Not me. This whole time I've thought "Gee, that's funny....our shower has scalding hot water in no time, but the hot water in the sinks just never seems to actually get hot..."

Until today when I accidentally do it the right way. And with a delayed Benadryl reflex, it was good times.

This causes me to wander around the house questioning my knowledge of House Stuff. I start looking around for a "normal" faucet - with the hot and cold marked on the dials...but realize we have none. The person who owned and decorated this home before us was an architect/artist and he loved these artsy fixtures. I began to wonder "do all people just instinctively know that hot is on the left and cold is on the right? And if so, how did I come to think it was the opposite? Is that why in public rest rooms I never seem to get hot water?"

Entirely too much thought spent on something so silly. But later, when C came through the door, I had to tell him. HAD TO. "Did you know that I've always thought the hot in our house was on the right?" "PLEASE don'tleavemeherealonetomorrow....I'm BEGGING YOUUUUUU."

How many times do we have to say it? He's such a lucky boy.

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