Tuesday, May 09, 2006

"Gloria Estefan Was Right...

...The Rhythim is Going to Get You". - Mr. Zoom

The most recent disclosure I've made to Mr. Zoom is how much I hate a clap track in a song. HATE IT. The band that comes to mind that I can point to as an example is the Cure. I love the Cure, but can't stand that song with the clapping in it.

And I say disclosure as if I sat around and thought about it, and decided to just share this information with him. When in reality, he has to endure certain repetitive acts of mine until we name them - i.e. "hating the clap track in any song." Disclosure then = giving my crazy a title - shorthand, if you will.

I'm also absolutely dismal with song titles and album names. I know all the songs, can sing a long when I hear them - but don't ask me to name them without the actual song playing, and even then it's not always possible. That's just my way. Which is why this discussion will not contain pointed examples. Wear it.

I also become overly agitated when an otherwise great song throws in a random "yeee haw" or guitar/drum solo. I say things like "Now why would they do that? Why would they put that in the song? It nearly makes it unlistenable! arrrrrrrr." And I say that every damn time I hear the song.

There is a band Mr. Zoom likes that I have taken to over orating the little *dink* the acoustic guitar makes. As we drive down the road, I sing along - not with lyrics, but *dink* *dink* *dink* in time with the song. Mr. Zoom just kindof laughs it off and waits for the next item to take my attention away. Sometimes I get a "You and your noises...."

While transferring my cds to the itunes library recently, I was reminded of how I thought the words to Prodigy's....crap...I have to google it to know the title...hold on..."Firestarter" were as follows:

"BIG sale BIG sale BIG sale"

instead of

"Exhale Exhale Exhale"

Which was further exacerbated by the logic in my head that said "Firestarter....sometimes stores call sales Fire Sales.....don't they?"

And I remember thinking back then, after I realized it was EXHALE...

"Why doesn't some company use their song for a commercial? Change the words Big Sale Big Sale Big Sale? How much more tidy could that be? And recently, it seems like every time I turn around a commercial has some hit from my college/high school years blaring from it. I think that means I'm getting old. I remember telling myself back in the 70's I'd know I was getting old when songs I knew started showing up on those K-Tel collections. But those don't exist anymore - or do they? Either way, I'm getting old."

And that's how I silently travel from being a 37 year old hearing a Prodigy song to checking myself (and Mr. Zoom) into a cute little senior citizen's community - in just under 60 seconds.


BostonPobble said...

You know, you would have thought my parents would have told me I was separated from someone at birth. I'm convinced that is what has happened. Throughout this post, I have been laughing, nodding and nearly yelling at my computer "Oh God YES! I do that TOO!"

The dogs are concerned about me.

Eduardo Osorio said...

Have you heard Clap Your Hands Say Yeah?

ZooooM said...

BBP - Turns out a lot of moms didn't tell us about our siblings. They never envisioned the internet, especially my formerly Amish mom, so they figured we'd never find out the truth. But tell the doggies everything will be ok. As long as nobody plays any songs with fake clapping in it, at least....

Which brings me to Eduardo....

I think I've heard the song you reference, but I'm not sure. That one, I think, might be excluded in the fact that it openly addresses the "clapping". So it's (maybe?) not as offensive to me as the fake clapclapclapclapclap that just randomly shows up and ruins my day.

Al said...

The clap track in The Cars records always drive me nuts. Isn't there a 6 month Anniversary coming up???

The Idiot said...

You're such a wonderful crowd. We'd like to play a little song for you. This one is dedicated to a girl who secretly loves the clap track. Yes Zoom, this one's for you.

I've waited hours for this
I've made myself so sick
I wish I'd stayed asleep today
I never thought this day would end
I never thought tonight could ever be
This close to me

Oh and in case that Cure flashback didn't help, here's a monster list of clap track tunes;


Note to Al - Any reminders of any kind of anniversaries of any kind will be met with swift and vengeful smoting via our man Jeebus - trust me on this - you don't want to see him get his smote on

Polyman2 said...

I am terrible with song titles
and especially song lyrics. I usually make up my own and
crack the family up.
I also like the dink dink thing.

ZooooM said...

Al, I totally forgot about the Cars! Good example! And I'm not much of a anniversary type girlie. Heck, birthdays, valentines day, anniversaries....I can't keep up with all of it. I don't expect Mr. Zoom or anyone else to do that either.

...Holy crap....6 months already?

Poly, the dink dink is a lot of fun. Mr. Zoom will even pause and look over at me for it from time to time.

he he...that has a lot of undertones. he he he undertones. Punarama.

Ryan said...

Yeah, but the opening song on "Friends" was the only part of that show I could take. :)