Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Since I Already Offered a Vegetarian a Hot Dog...

I suppose I should re-cap Jeeber's last trip to Vegas.

We stopped on the way for some lunch, and Jeeber quickly made an issue out of the lack of napkin freedom. Here's Jeeber protesting the fact that napkins in restaurants are more closely regulated than over the counter cold medicine. We get it, Jeeber. We don't like it either - but you aren't going to win any extra napkins by smoting the employees. It's better to figure out what equasion they are using, ie. is it a bevarage ordered/napkin ratio or entree/napkin ratio and work from there.

When we finally reached our hotel, Jeeber spied a pack of Harleys that were on the River Run. We only let him get away with playing on them because we saw the owners of these bikes leave just moments before. We calculated the likelihood of our being beaten because of Jeeber's actions against the thrill of being immature, and decided to take a chance:

But of course, Jeeber had to take it too far. For the rest of the trip he told everyone who would listen "I laid down my harley on the Las Vegas Strip." Jeeber doesn't quite realize how stupid that sounds, nor did he realize "lay it down" doesn't mean "laid down on it."

Then he noticed the footprints on the beams within the ceiling of the parking structure.

He kept yammering about some inspirational poem. The one about carrying people and leaving his footprints in the sand....yawn. We told him he could stay and figure out who left what prints if he wanted, and why they are on cement and not sand, but we were hungry and needed to check in to the hotel.

Here's Jeeber showing off on the escalator at the monorail station. I didn't have the heart to tell him ascending was probably more impressive than descending - having just passed the Easter holiday and all.

Here's Jeeber taking a ride in Ka's pocket. Jeeber wanted to talk to Ka about Zoroastrianism. Jeeber is tired of people accusing him of using Zoroastrian doctrine as a basis for his teachings. We had to separate them when Jeeber kept yelling "We did not plagiarize your monotheistic faith idea or the final judgment!"

Probably the only time Jeeber kept his yap shut was while touring Vegas from Miss P's back pocket. If we ever need a Jeebersitter, I'm totally calling her.

Here's a bar we found off the strip. You can't tell, but the blurry words over the sign say "24 hrs Gaming and Clamming"

Jeeber was confused, since there was nowhere to fish for miles. Or so he thought.


The Idiot said...

And yay bretheren, there are those that oft wonder why I harbor such total and complete adoration of the woman called Zoom.....

Well good people, for all those that wonder what it is that keeps me hanging on through Zoom's wave after wave of crazy

Look no further than gems of funny like this.

No matter what she tells or shows the internet about me, I do so love that witty girl of mine.

The Idiot said...

And on a side note, perhaps if Father Ka had a little more faith in Jeebus, he'd have gotten into Miss P's pants, before Jeebus did.

Thank you, I'll be here all week.

The 7:30 show is much better than the 5:00. Be sure to tip your waitress.

Al said...

Return of Jeeber... It's a little more than 3 days after Easter though.
Ya figure that if any place needed the help of Jeeber it would be Vegas. With Jeeber's help, is it safe to hit on 16? Did the Cardinal need a new pair of shoes, the Pope a new pointy hat??

I like the "Born to be Holy" pose on the hog.. the whole "get your prayer's a runnin'...." thing is cool.

I also think Jeeber came up with a new Beatitude..
"Blessed be the female rear..."
Even though you are probably gonna call me a macho pig for this, I can't blame him for wanting to hang out in her pocket.

I think I know the root of Jeeb's confusion at the Bar/Casino.
He's used to the original story story not the remake where if you give a man a fish he eats for a day, but if you take him to the Slanted Clam with a $100 he get's cheap drinks and eats at the buffet all day

Didn't Jeebs once talk about lying down in green meadows and isn't Vegas Spanish for Meadows? hmmmmmmmm

Anyway, Mr. Zoom - don't forget to try the veal

Rev. Brandy said...

OMG - there is nothing better than Touring Jeebus.

BostonPobble said...

I am unworthy to read this blog. I am unworthy to comment on this blog. All my aspirations about being remotely humorous and dry-witted have just withered and died in the presence of the greatness which is Zoom and the touring Jeebus.

The Management said...

Jeebus.... I'm a little ticked... No wonder my prayers wern't answered last week... He was living it up in Sin City with ZoOOOOoooom...

Maybe I'll convert to Islam... You know Mo wouldn't be slacking off while on the job in Vegas.


ZooooM said...

idiot....you...you are supposed to correct my verb conjegations...not be all nice to me! Now I'm going to feel guilty when I tug on your perfectly hung ....wait for it.... towels in the morning!

AL! You should have written the caption for the clam! I like yours much MUCH better!

Hi Rev!

Boston, I don't deserve any of your kind words. Trust me, there's nothing here that's ever going to be worthy of praise like that.

Managing Otter Moth, don't be bitter. Jeeber promises to wish you some really good scotch if you will just put away the Islam references and do as you are told.

Aisha T. said...

*gasping for breath* Good LORD! This was hysterical. For some reason, I thought the slanted clam was something other than a restaurant.