Last night while visiting my parents for dinner at their house, my Dad said to me: "Hey, want to see something gross?"
I said "Mmmm. No."
Which to him means "Of course I do! Show me now."
So he rolled up his sleeve and showed me the almost healed incision on his shoulder. He had surgery about a month ago, and sticking out of the incision was a teeny little string, about 1/8th of an inch long. It was white.
He starts pointing at it and saying "YEAH! The doctor said he's not really sure why it is there, but that he would cut it out. But he forgot by the time the appointment was over, so I came home and asked your Mom to do it for me. She said she couldn't do it without fainting."
And he said that as if he were shocked she couldn't/wouldn't do it.
I just turned away and said "DAD! Cover that up! Nobody wants to see that! You know I can't handle blood or needles or ... or... or....random string hanging out of someone's shoulder!! That's just freaky!"
My Dad has officially crossed the line from just Dad, to Dad who is now acting like a stereotypical old guy - someone who gives unwelcome medical freakshow tours of their own bodies to friends and family.
I remember when my Grandfather went into the hospital to have some kidney stones removed. After surgery, he insisted that the doctors put the stones in a vial that he could bust out at Grandpa shows. Those little presentations that he would give to unsuspecting friends, family and a few random strangers - telling them how it all went down and what the results were.
Note to potential wedding guests: At the reception, my Dad might just try and supplement the DJ entertainment by showing you how he looks like the backside of an embroidery project gone wrong.
Sure. Other weddings get drunk nurses. I get Embroidery Shoulder Man. Amd I'm related to him.
Meh. What's a wedding without some craziness, right?