Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Ever See the Movie Beastmaster?
As luck would have it, I needed a visual for this entry anyway.
I'm in the office loo this morning, and it is unusually crowded. There's no delicate, lady like way to explain happenings in the loo, so I'm just going to get on with it.
I'm getting myself a butt gasket and making the necessary adjustments, when I notice my neighbor's foot positioned perfectly so that the tattoo she has on her foot is looking RIGHT AT ME from the next stall over. I've never even been able to see the feet of neighbors in the loo before.
And when I say her foot was looking at me, I mean LOOKING. It's the image here, an Egyptian eye thingie. She has it on the top part near her pinkie toe. Her shoes make it so that the eye is perfectly free to freak me out.
I can barely pee when other people are in the bathroom with me, let alone pee when someone's foot eye is looking right at me!
Back in the 80s my parents got cable for the first time. They had some movie channel, and it ran "Beastmaster" about 4,562 times in one month. And then it did that again for the next 3 consecutive years.
There's an evil ring in the movie with an eyeball or something...it can see stuff. It was as if I was transported back in time to sitting in front of the family t.v., and I was watching the Egyptian version of the Beastmaster...only it was set in my office loo, I was IN the movie, the ring was now a tattoo, and I REALLY needed to pee after a large cup of coffee. I became the Peemaster, and I was doing a really lousy job of it.
I don't need eyes, evil or otherwise in the loo with me - ever. Even my own eyes would blind themselves if they could.