Thursday, September 15, 2005

Just Remember - I'm Not Trying to Insult You...

I'm just trying to amuse myself.

Last time, Jeebus went to Vegas.

This time, my friends went to Vegas and left Jeebus with me to feed Miss X (pal's cat) and water the plants.

Jeebus always has to be in control, so he insisted on being the one to open the door. I tried to tell him there was no way he could reach the lock, but he wouldn't be happy until he got there and experienced it for himself. He created some cover story about a losing contact lense on the welcome matt and that was my chance to get the keys away from him.

Once we got inside, Jeebus ran up onto the couch and shouted "I smell sin here!" I told him to knock it off because nobody cares; it's time for some new material. And actually, sin smells pretty good.

Jeebus was goofing around in the cat condo most of the time. When I yelled at him to knock that off too, he tried to hide.

I was all "Seriously Jeebus, I can TOTALLY see you. Would you please just come over here and sneeze on the plants or whatever it is you do that keeps them from dying in my care?!"

Miss X's mom left me with her baby plants. Now, a rambunctious Jeebus I can handle - but a plant might die on me and that makes me nervous. I really needed Jeebus to help me out on this one.

Here is Jeebus trying to get Miss X to come out of her closet hiding spot. He's offering up a couple of cat treats, but apparently that isn't enough to bring Miss X into the flock. I think he should have tried some cat nip crackers - but every time I bring that up he squeals "unclean!"

Jeebus even tried the Amazing Technicolor Cat Toy - after all, it seems to have worked for Joseph.

I went to fill Miss X's water and food bowls. When I came back, Jeebus had given up trying to get Miss X to come out of her hidng place. He wore the cranky robe with a poutty rope belt all the way home.


Al said...

Zoom -
Hysterical, you need to put a warning about drinking while reading. Almost had water come out my nose.
You now have a new theme song
"Jeebus is just alright with me"
and if any of those whackjobs give you any flack - tell'em God, Jaweh, the aliens, who the heck ever is running the show (if it's anyone at all) had to have a sense of humor - how else could you explain Emo Phillip's career because nobody finds him funny

Rev. Brandy said...

I definitely need to get a digital camera, because you are having way too much fun with Jeebus.


You are the bomb, Z.

theresa said...

I lub you more today than yesterday!

You are the funniest girl in the whole blogosphere!!!
... and you don't even cus a lot!

ZooooM said...

Aww guys. Thanks.

Al, yes that's always been my thing too. The controller HAS to have a sense of humor. And if it doesn't, then well...I guess I'll go to the anti-controller but I'll have at least had a nice time laughing before that. NICE ONE on Emo.

Rev. - my sister in Maryland HAS to have a camera. I strongly suggest a smaller digi camera you can stash in your purse or whatever so it's with you all the time. The battery life on them is really good these days. C got me one because I was constantly saying "ugh..wish I had my camera with me" type stuff.

Super T...I lub you too, but reject your high praise, for there are far more talented funny people out there - like you and the Rev.

As far as the cussing, my most favorite cuss comes from "Running With Laywers" Rufus who cussed once like this "fuckity fuck fuck, mcfuckpants" GOOD STUFF, no?

AndyT13 said...

Hey! Is dat MY Jeebus? WHERE'S MY JEEBUS!?!?!?!? Oh my Jeebus! Oh my Jeebus! Oh my Jeebus! Oh my Jeebus!
Man dat ting gimme da jibblies.