C and I often find ourselves among a group of people who are just learning that we plan to marry soon.
Que wedding advice monster, suspended from the ceiling and swinging through the room. Actually, I must admit that I've been really lucky in this department. Aside from the occasional "OH, you absolutely must consider having my cousin prepare your centerpieces!! What color popsicle sticks should I tell her to buy?" - I've received little unwanted wedding advice.
There is, however, another creature that lives inside people. I've named it the Bitter Marriage Counselor Hyena. Sometimes it's laughing as it chews on my confidence concerning the potential marriage C and I will have.
I believe that these people do have good intentions. And most of them have been and/or are still married as they release the hyena.
A recent example comes from a woman learning that not only are C and I going to get married, but we don't plan on having any children. We are very much accustomed to dealing with the "Aww, come on. You know you want to..." "She will change her mind" "It's different when it's yours" and other type discussions. We can do those with our eyes closed.
What we weren't prepared for was that this woman basically told us that as we manage to arrive at an anniversary or six, we will find that we MUST have children....or at least a pet. Her reason? Without a pet or child, we WILL discover that there's nothing new. We will have done it all. There will be no excitement, no fun, quite literally we will be on the brink of comas without that element in our lives; and we will welcome said coma.
She did offer us one glimmer of hope though. She said we might make it if we decide to travel a lot.
And no, she doesn't currently have any children, but she does have pets. 5 of them. And a husband.
Wow. She's got skills. Her directive of MUST HAVE children combined with the promise of saving our marriage was most creative. I gave it a 4 out of 5 stars.
But I don't buy it. Not for a second.
C and I know that we have no idea how to make a marriage work. We are flying on pure, perhaps naive, blind faith.
Besides. We have fish.