Monday, July 11, 2005

Nice to See You, Time to Go.

Sunday C and I went to a brunch at a neighbor's house. It was a very nice experience. The best part was when we got kicked out of the house. It wasn't just us, it was everybody.

Our hostess fed us and chatted with us, and then when she was ready to end the affair said "Ok, there's the door. You can stay as long as you want, but if I were you I'd leave!"

There was nothing rude about it. I was relieved to have someone tell me it's time to go. That she had other things she needed/wanted to do that day.

Nobody was offended. In fact, we all had things we really needed to get to anyway. It was nice to have a reason to leave. Not that I didn't have a nice time there - but now I could get on with the rest of my napping on the couch.

I know from being my Mom's dumping ground of grr that whenever she has people over, she gets all wound up if they don't catch her subtle "go away" clues. I never could figure out what she thought was so obvious. Because there's no way I could tell you what to look for. But that's my Mom. She's spent her entire life keeping her real needs/wants hidden from the people who could, and probably would, make them a reality.

And if you asked my Mom what her best qualities were, she would deny that she's got any qualities worth pointing out; that she's just a woman who works hard and tries to make sure her kids are happy. Then she'd go to lunch with me some day and say: "I'm always honest. And I expect people to be honest with me."

Funny that.


Kathy said...

Wow...I can't imagine a hostess saying that. Not that I wouldn't appreciate it completely...I just can't imagine this.

Good for you West Coast folks. Just say what's on your mind!

Rev. Brandy said...

What a relief that would be. I never know when to leave, and I probably lead the pack because I am always watching for those subtle (or not so, depending) cues from the host/ess letting me know it's time to skedaddle. I'd be pleased as punch for the polite yet direct kick in the pants. I think as a hostess, I'm even guilty of doing the dishes or something while my guests are still lollygaggin', only because I am so anal, I can't sit still. Not really because I want them gone. Or, maybe, subconsciously, I do. Come to think of it, I'm a better guest than hostess. Entertaining stresses me out.

ZooooM said...

Kathy, believe me. Some people do say what they think, but most don't - then get upset because you didn't see it. This is why I don't get along well in the general public. I'm horrible at subtle clues. I need to be told, but I don't get offended when it happens.

Rev, I'm with you on the stress thing. I'm an absolute wreck when I've had to entertain in the past. I'm stealing your line: "I'm a better guest than hostess."