Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Marshmallow Shrapnel Short Bus

Tonight C and I were waiting to pick up an item he had purchased. The sales person came by and told us he'd be right with us.

C had dealt with this person for about a week. C said "I don't know if he's quite ... right ... like he's a little touched in the head..." Now, we weren't complaining, or making fun. C was simply making an observation at how every time this guy talked to him, he seemed to take about 5 seconds to register and process each word spoken.

So of course I say to C: "Do you think he's had a habit of taking his food out of the microwave before the third ding all of these years?"

**blank stare**

See, when I was younger, my Mom told us kids that we couldn't take food out of the microwave before the third and final little ding that it made when food was done cooking. She said that the bad microwaves wouldn't be "gone" yet, and if we took the food out before the oven indicated it was safe....well then we were eating radioactive food. We wouldn't die. No, we'd damage our brains and well, THEN we'd be sory.

It's my short bus. I can't have been the only kid who grew up with this cautionary tale told to them? It's a technological version of "Your face is going to freeze like that."

That little preventative story worked on me and my brothers for about 30 seconds. That was the exact amount of time it took us to realize that we could microwave marshmallows until they nearly filled the entire microwave oven with a sugary bubble the size of a bowling ball. Then we would pull them out, watch them deflate, and eat the solidified remains of marshmallow off the paper plate.

Most of these food experiments were performed after school while the parents were both at work.

I probably don't have to tell you that one marshmallow became 2 and 4 and more, and that there was plenty of food removal prior to done dings.

Man, do I ever have an answer for the next person that asks me "What is wrong with you?"


Rev. Brandy said...

* LOVE * the "three dings." Oh, my God, it's the first time I have ever heard it, and to be honest, I am wondering how my mother missed that one in her little rule book.

The Management said...

We weren't allowed to STAND in front of the Microwave. Which to me at least made some sense. Crappy door seals and wire mess and what not.

Never been a fan of marshmallows since they took out the actual marsh mallow. How the hell can you have Marshmallows without Marsh Mallow? It's like... well Ham Burgers with out the Ham.


ZooooM said...

Look! It's a managing otter! Hello!

You are talking to a girl that was shown how to make a grilled cheese like this:

Toast the bread. Insert American pre sliced cheese. Microwave for whatever time. Ding Ding Ding.

I was a silly child. I thought that's how it grilled cheese was made.

Let's just say I grew up with a lot of things that weren't quite right.

Funny though. My parents had no issues with us standing in front of the thing.